christine martini

[christine martini @martini_c]

That one chin hair is either "just plucked" or 75 feet long. There is no in between.

[christine martini @martini_c]

I got rid of everything in my life that doesn’t spark joy so now I’m sitting in an empty apartment with my dog, a pint of ice cream, and a stack of Bed Bath and Beyond coupons #TidyingUp #MarieKondo #bedbathandbeyond

[christine martini @martini_c]

I've never hidden a bomb in my shoes, but I still have to take the extra step to take them off at airport security #GunContolNow

[christine martini @martini_c]

Have yet to see a statue of Hitler in Europe but getting the impression everyone still remembers what he did ☝️

[Chelsea Clinton @ChelseaClinton]

The story of Lucifer-who rebelled against God-is part of many Christians' traditions. I've never been in a church with a Lucifer statue.

[Charlie Mihelich @charlesmihelich]

Grandkids: So the Nazis came BACK?
Me: Yes, more than 70 years later
GKs: Why didn't anyone stop them?
Me: Well THIS time they had a permit

[Joe Biden @JoeBiden]

Every patriotic American who is qualified to serve in our military should be able to serve. Full stop.

[Kelsey @KelseyKlemme]

DC may have won the electoral judges, but NJ won the popular vote #NotMyMissUSA #MissUSA

[kayla @kayLA_lexis]

thanks, John.

[christine martini @martini_c]

2 phrases I said today:
"The kids these days" & "I use YouTube to google videos"
So if any older folk wanna hang, I'm free ✌🏻️
#gettingold

[christine martini @martini_c]

A spider just jumped out of my medicine cabinet and my response was "nah dude, that doesn't work for me." ☝🏻️
#spider #doingok #TGIT

[christine martini @martini_c]

Jordan Peele 🙏🏻
#getout #👌🏻

[christine martini @martini_c]

@llcoolj is filming outside my apt right now. #blessed that I have an audition monologue prepared #prepared #actor #ncisla

[christine martini @martini_c]

IDK if my need to say #blessyou evry time I hear a sneeze is God speaking directly thru me or my OCD showing its true colors #ocd #chosenone

[Hillary Clinton @HillaryClinton]

"To all the women...who put their faith in this campaign and in me...nothing has made me prouder than to be your champion." —Hillary

[Hillary Clinton @HillaryClinton]

"To all the little girls watching...never doubt that you are valuable and powerful & deserving of every chance & opportunity in the world."

[christine martini @martini_c]

108 years. 108 stitches on a ball. 10th inning 8 runs. #cubs #108 #worldseries

[Sean Williams @im_seanwilliams]

Oh wow. 108 years. The #Cubs won in the 10th inning and the score was 8-7. Cubs scored 8 runs by (cont) https://t.co/qnSP2fRrHy