Martyn Johnson

[Sunday Sport @thesundaysport]

I quite like the weathermen telling us we're all going to die when the sun comes out.
Now it feels like I've got superpowers every time I pop out to the shed and come back alive.

[Gary Delaney: On tour @GaryDelaney]

Why does my therapist say I need to learn to love myself but the police tell me to stop masturbating in public?

[Patrick Christys @PatrickChristys]

Lies

[Paul Cox @PaulCoxComedy]

Wait until Labour and the Lib Dem’s find out how bad war is for the environment. Good luck ‘keeping peace’ with wind powered artillery and electric powered tanks.

[Geoff Norcott @GeoffNorcott]

Modern dentists text a lot to check you’re still coming to an appointment.
It’s all a bit needy.
Makes me think I should be seeing other dentists.

[Dr. Dame Katy Denise CH GBE 🏳️‍⚧️🇳🇬🪑 @damekatydenise_]

The number of womxn with persistent problematic prostates living in the UK:

1985: 0
2025: 173,452

Let that sink in.

What could’ve brought this on?

COVID vaccines, Chemtrails & a lack of adequate seating. Fact.

Don’t @ at me.

#ChairPoverty

[Allison Pearson @AllisonPearson]

Exactly as Rupert says.
The child-rape gangs are the worst scandal in our history - tens of thousands of victims of evil men deserve a full national inquiry.
It should not be brushed under the carpet AGAIN!
@sammywoodhouse1

[Nana Akua @Nanaakua1]

This will put a smile on your face lol 😂😂😂!!

[Dr. Dame Katy Denise CH GBE 🏳️‍⚧️🇳🇬🪑 @damekatydenise_]

Bianca Censori stole that dress off my washing line! I had it made especially for my sister’s funeral. 🤬🤬🤬 #GRAMMYs #Grammys2025

[Silvio Tattisconie 💎 ©™ 🇬🇧🎗 @SilvioTattiscon]

The girl from accounts now

[Jean Hatchet @JeanHatchet]

The magnificent @ArzoParsi reducing us to tears today calling for a @ECB_cricket boycott of the Afghanistan cricket team. Last week she was alone. Today we stood with her. The Taliban thugs have been bullying her. She is not alone! You come for her. You come for all of us.
#LetUsExist
#BoycottAfghanistanCricket

[Andrew Lawrence @andrewlawrence]

It's amazing what you can charge for rivers full of shit, when your customers can't shop around.

[Dr. Dame Katy Denise CH GBE 🏳️‍⚧️🇳🇬🪑 @damekatydenise_]

You can try to put us down but Trans womxn have got a lot of spunk.

[Geoff Norcott @GeoffNorcott]

This fella's been on more 'journeys' than a reality show contestant.

[Geoff Norcott @GeoffNorcott]

Is it still January?
This is the most januariest of all the Januarys.
And why is this month 31 days - can't we shave one off and give it to June?
Fucks sake.

[Michelle once more. @ShellShell6666]

I am sick and tired of everything.

I feel like leaving X.

I'm fed up with advocating for myself.

The only people I've got are a few of my followers and some that don't follow that stand by me.

I feel like saying stuff the shocking numbers of Rapes in hospitals.

I don't have MPs, reporters, or massive accounts calling them out. Rapes, gang rapes and sexual assaults in hospitals are just as important as grooming gangs.

I'm going to think about it today and make my mind up if I'm staying or leaving.

I will carry on my fight for justice, whatever I decide.

[Graeme Bandeira @GraemeBandeira]

When you’re undercover in the home end and you score a last minute winner

[christopher mcglade @christophermcg8]

Even with this overwhelming support, the globalist, progressive media, are still trying to attack trump and over 70 million people who voted for him. When will they learn, that in doing so, and in ramming woke down our throats, they only make ordinary people flock to him more.

[Concerned Citizen @BGatesIsaPyscho]

“Donald Trump is NOT welcome in our Country”

“A man full of such evil, such hatred, such bile”

“He should not be meeting the Queen - he doesn’t deserve it”

“We’re marching with many many Americans & communicating our huge huge disapproval with this President”

“A President who has retweeted Far Right Hatred”

Yes this is the now UK Foreign Secretary David Lammy talking previously on Donald Trumps historic visit to London.

[Maggie Oliver @MaggieOliverUK]

The full letter delivered to @YvetteCooperMP and the Home Office by my legal team yesterday ….. click the link to open. This is just the start of this process however, with much more to come.

I’d like to clarify that this is being submitted by me personally and not through my charity.

https://t.co/4hpK502QVv