Mary Jay Berger

don’t touch me

[Mary Jay Berger @maryjayberger]

Follow me at mrsdoubtfire69 on Letterboxd

[Mary Jay Berger @maryjayberger]

@annamlulis @Riley_Gaines_ lol imagine using an experience as joyful as announcing a pregnancy to be petty & hateful. Dang. Bad vibes but that’s to be expected from you. Good luck to your future daughter with a mom like you

[Mary Jay Berger @maryjayberger]

Damn dude this @dominos stuffed crust is prob gonna surpass them all truly. Can’t wait

[Mary Jay Berger @maryjayberger]

Me when Brittani says she’s leaving the bat mitvah #RealHousewivesOfSaltLakeCity

[Mary Jay Berger @maryjayberger]

I’m not mad they’re telling people not to sing during the wicked movie, a lot of yall need a hardcore movie etiquette reminder you’ve been slipping

[Mary Jay Berger @maryjayberger]

I feel like bronwyn doesn’t understand that when people say they can’t believe she’s attracted to Todd it’s about his awful awful personality not his looks #realhousewivesofslc

[Mary Jay Berger @maryjayberger]

Me popping out in Stephen & Monica’s apartment during his list of apologies: “also apologize for pretending you didn’t know what Louis Vuitton was” #LoveIsBlindSeason7

[Mary Jay Berger @maryjayberger]

Hey PSA to the love is blind characters: STOP WHISPERING. FUCKING STOP

[Mary Jay Berger @maryjayberger]

The new season of love is blind is a personal joke on me

[Mary Jay Berger @maryjayberger]

Approx an hour of “the Batman” is just eye contact

[Mary Jay Berger @maryjayberger]

Me 25 mins into “the batman”: “ohhh ok that’s a cipher”

[Mary Jay Berger @maryjayberger]

I’ve got no dog in this fight but yall check on your bama friends bc dang

[Mary Jay Berger @maryjayberger]

A guy sent me an unsolicited d pic and so I looked at his bathroom counter In the background and just replied “ohhh acqua di gio”

[Mary Jay Berger @maryjayberger]

Unquestionably? Like no I got questions dude

[Mary Jay Berger @maryjayberger]

Tell your dads I said what up

[Reena Calm @ReenaCalm]

love the way cats sit with their lil paws tucked in, like I'm putting these away for later

[Mary Jay Berger @maryjayberger]

Bro literally the only celeb id cry over

[GarfieId @GarfieldFanArt]

Hi guys, Jon here.

Garfield passed away in his sleep last night after eating at an Olive Garden buffet earlier in the night. It was sudden and we’re still in shock. I don’t know how this could have happened, but I just didn’t want you guys to be left in the dark.

Thank you.

[Mary Jay Berger @maryjayberger]

The pharmacy line at Walgreens has gotten unhinged, this lady asked me to guess her weight

[Mary Jay Berger @maryjayberger]

Why do Nick & Vanessa lachey both look like they’re crying? #LoveIsBlind

[Mary Jay Berger @maryjayberger]

Don’t care about the happy news I just want the drama #LoveIsBlind

[Mary Jay Berger @maryjayberger]

Bro imagine hugging 18 strangers #TheBachelor #nightmare