mash quotes bot 🍸

mash quotes bot | posting quotes from the hit television series once every hour

[mash quotes bot 🍸 @mashablequotes]

- Sir? Uh, Major Houlihan requests permission to see the colonel.
- Well, tell her I died of a hangover and didn't leave a forwarding address.

[mash quotes bot 🍸 @mashablequotes]

- Normal is everybody doing the same thing.
- What about individuality?
- Individuality's fine. As long as we all do it together.

[mash quotes bot 🍸 @mashablequotes]

- Anybody who'd wanna get everybody would wanna get you most of all.
- Yeah, well, you're not gonna get me!
- Oh, me? No, I don't go in for that sort of thing.

[mash quotes bot 🍸 @mashablequotes]

- Alright, who left the dead minnows in my pocket?
- They were alive when I put them there, you've killed them!

[mash quotes bot 🍸 @mashablequotes]

Wow. Did you really call a one-star general a NINCOMPAC?

[mash quotes bot 🍸 @mashablequotes]

- Wild talk today.
- Your tapioca's blushing!

[mash quotes bot 🍸 @mashablequotes]

Henry, I'm all ribbed out! I have barbecue deficiency! Don't you get the clinical picture? Withdrawal trauma! Take blood, you'll see. Half hemoglobin, half barbecue sauce from Chicago!

[mash quotes bot 🍸 @mashablequotes]

- That's insubordination. You do that to me one more time, and I'm entitled to... bite off your left ear. Just food for thought.
- He's not bluffing. He got Van Gogh.

[mash quotes bot 🍸 @mashablequotes]

- May I remind you, sir, we're fighting a war?
- Well, that certainly explains all the noise at night.

[mash quotes bot 🍸 @mashablequotes]

This is the first time I've seen orange juice labeled freshly killed.

[mash quotes bot 🍸 @mashablequotes]

- Where's the stupid sulfa?
- It's in the living room. The sulfa's in the living room between the end tables.
- Margaret, you made a joke!

[mash quotes bot 🍸 @mashablequotes]

- I need a doctor.
- You're a doctor.
- Then I'm the last thing I need.

[mash quotes bot 🍸 @mashablequotes]

You should send to Sears for a man. It is a male-order catalog.

[mash quotes bot 🍸 @mashablequotes]

- Still a cutie pie, ain't ya?
- Well, some guys have got it.

[mash quotes bot 🍸 @mashablequotes]

- I had a long little dogie once. It was a dachshund.
- Oh, a little hot dog! What happened to him?
- He got mustered out.
- I RELISH these conversations!

[mash quotes bot 🍸 @mashablequotes]

- How long have we been at this?
- I started surgery in 1932.
- I mean this session.
- So do I.

[mash quotes bot 🍸 @mashablequotes]

- Captain Pierce. Officers returning from leave are supposed to check in with their commanding officer upon their return.
- Hello, honey, I'm home.

[mash quotes bot 🍸 @mashablequotes]

- Haven't you ever seen truffles before?
- Nobody knows the truffles I've seen.

[mash quotes bot 🍸 @mashablequotes]

- Anybody who'd wanna get everybody would wanna get you most of all.
- Yeah, well, you're not gonna get me!
- Oh, me? No, I don't go in for that sort of thing.

[mash quotes bot 🍸 @mashablequotes]

- Yoo-hoo! I'm home!
- Howdy, stranger. New in town?