very difficult sometimes to distinguish between "is this a hard thing I'm supposed to work through" or "is it hard because it's the wrong thing and I need to let go"
Releasing shame is part of the process of changing behavior. In order to change & improve you need to feel worthy of the rewards for doing so.
Shame can actually keep you stuck in dysfunction. When you live with shame, your self-worth becomes so damaged you end up fulfilling the prophecy bc you don’t value yourself enough to improve your life. You want to punish yourself make yourself miserable bc you are so full of shame.
Embarrassment and guilt are effective emotions in changing behavior, but shame is what grows when we do not change and instead internalize our inherent “wrongness,” it is a limiting mental state.
“You think killing is hard, huh? Try healing something. That is hard. That requires patience. You can break something in two seconds. But it can take forever to fix it. A lifetime, generations. That's why we have to be careful on this earth and gentle.”
— Venus speaking to Mars