Mat Mat Mat

you do the hokey pokey and you turn around bright eyes

[Mat Mat Mat @Matdoesjustfine]

Might have been exposed to COVID so heads up if you’re one of the hundreds of beautiful models I slept with this weekend

[Mat Mat Mat @Matdoesjustfine]

me after betting $1 on a football game and winning: “damn i knew i should have bet all of the money that i own”

[Mat Mat Mat @Matdoesjustfine]

“I marked the tree with a single red ribbon, and made the leprechaun swear he wouldn’t remove it”

🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩

[Mat Mat Mat @Matdoesjustfine]

we just can’t deny it any longer

this is the best performance of Shia LaBouf’s career

[Mat Mat Mat @Matdoesjustfine]

me rewatching Asdfmovie for the first time since middle school

[Mat Mat Mat @Matdoesjustfine]

@homersmipson jerry’s seinfeld

[Mat Mat Mat @Matdoesjustfine]

@homersmipson and i was already stressed so now i’m just so angry

[Mat Mat Mat @Matdoesjustfine]

@homersmipson my uncrustables only came with 3 uncrustables when the packaging said 4 today

[Mat Mat Mat @Matdoesjustfine]

I bought a bag of sour patch kids from a vending machine and all the kids at camp started pointing and laughing saying “coach has CANDY for SNACK!” and then one six year old boy placed his hand on my arm and said “coach, snack is not a joke”

[Giannis Antetokounmpo @Giannis_An34]

I just taste for the first time a smothie..MAN GOD BLESS AMERICA😊

[Mat Mat Mat @Matdoesjustfine]

@dalaigowda be ready for this when i finally come through pickup

[Mat Mat Mat @Matdoesjustfine]

@blackout_nu

[Mat Mat Mat @Matdoesjustfine]

the way I text my friends “leaving now” when I’m actually already almost there to make them think I walk very fast

[Mat Mat Mat @Matdoesjustfine]

if the queen really cared about her country she’d die today to motivate the lads

[Mat Mat Mat @Matdoesjustfine]

I need a sports book that lets me place bets on which character will say grace at the end of every new Fast and Furious

[Mat Mat Mat @Matdoesjustfine]

they should never ever be allowed to point the 8K camera at the fans

[Mat Mat Mat @Matdoesjustfine]

tonight has featured the two funniest sporting events in history