matt

[Big Choctaw @Derekalexander_]

As an adult, missing trash day is one of the biggest L’s you can take

[matt @matt_imray]

yo @Senators I love my girlfriend, I’m coming off a beer league shutout (haven’t been scored on since last year), and I have an uncle in Ottawa already so I have a place to crash. lemme know

[matt @matt_imray]

men used to go to war, now they’re asking to hit girls vape at the bar

[kim 🌙 @givewomenswords]

Here you go, freaks. You’re welcome

[matt @matt_imray]

Cashier asked if I needed a cart to haul one of those big 5 gallon water jugs to my truck. Time to blast 100000 mg of tren

[matt @matt_imray]

can’t believe I’m turning 23 tomorrow ahaha crazy

[matt @matt_imray]

Bro should NOT have said this.

[matt @matt_imray]

what is your max bench

[PETA @peta]

Just an FYI, you shouldn’t eat your body weight in grams of protein daily! The average person only needs 45-55 grams—around two servings of tofu 🌱 There’s no need to fall for an unneeded, protein-obsessed fad diet trend 🙄

[ranger @djrangertrucco]

how tf are you supposed to stay hard for 75 days

[matt @matt_imray]

Gf is gone for the weekend, throwing a party, dudes only. Any girls show up, I’m shooting you in the head

[matt @matt_imray]

@givewomenswords I went full Saskatchewan baby

[SPANE 🇪🇸 @SperrysandNikes]

We asked all of the interns what their goals for the summer were. Most of them said “to get an offer”. My intern said “to bench 315”. His future is so bright

[matt @matt_imray]

@givewomenswords

[matt @matt_imray]

“yeah so after j.cole released his diss he apologized and took it down. now everyone thinks he a pussy and j.cole fans are butthurt”

[matt @matt_imray]

@galathotius

[matt @matt_imray]

to all my followers, have a good day

and to all my followers who appear as fake onlyfans bot/scam accounts, keep doing gods work

[matt @matt_imray]

when the 55 year old guy on your beer league team says he’s just here to have fun

[matt @matt_imray]

happy new year to those who celebrate

[matt @matt_imray]

@galathotius uncanny valley