Matthew Bennett

Former chef, current IT auditor, inveterate geek, fantasy football junkie. So lucky to have people who really care about me in my life. My opinions are my own.

[Matthew Bennett @mattb291]

@CeliaSGregory please give us some Television on Monday, was so bummed to hear about Verlaine . . If there's a heaven, it's loud AF tonight.

[Matthew Bennett @mattb291]

Damn anyone straight to hell who criticizes this delight - you suck and can kiss my ass. Thanks @PortlandCorps for providing my 2023 calendar.

[Corps of Engineers @PortlandCorps]

Us: *makes a cat calendar for people to enjoy*

People: "You guys suck at Photoshop."

At least now we finally have a New Year's resolution. Going to enroll in a Photoshop class.

In case you want it, here's a link to our poorly Photoshopped calendar: https://t.co/xBPLTMwb8s

[Matthew Bennett @mattb291]

@CeliaSGregory saw Bush back in the day in ATL with Veruca Salt as the opener . . . Always thought they had ok lyrics, but great guitars.

[Matthew Bennett @mattb291]

@actuallyimhira @rickygervais All of Twitter should be here, getting a lesson in expert level trolling. . . this is outstanding. Stay warm by the fire you've lit!

[The Tennessee Holler @TheTNHoller]

UPDATE: It appears the Russian oligarch private jet trackers Jack ran were also suspended along with Elon’s jet tracker @ElonJet and Jack’s personal account 🤔

[Ken Jennings @KenJennings]

🤔

[The Tennessee Holler @TheTNHoller]

🏆 Tweet of the Day goes to @atrupar (who you should be following) for dragging this absurd @nytimes article

[Chattanooga Holler @NoogaHoller]

👇

[Matthew Bennett @mattb291]

@CeliaSGregory please please include "Two of Us" covered by Aimee Mann and Michael Penn for #ThematicStatic it's great and I totally had a Michael Penn moment when "No Myth" came out . #confession @WNXPnashville

[Matthew Bennett @mattb291]

My cat needs to hear this.

[Matthew Bennett @mattb291]

@dankmccoy This question . . Is clean.

[Matthew Bennett @mattb291]

@dankmccoy Do you think it's possible to make a horror movie where everyone makes it out? I mean bad stuff happens, but none of them actually die? Could you still create and maintain the horror and tension?

[Matthew Bennett @mattb291]

Idiot with seafood allergy goes to seafood restaurant, pouts on TikTok they don't give him special treatment and shit posts the place. @MSN uses Commodore-64 powered AI to draft disjointed article. You can feel our society getting dumber every day. https://t.co/6EoYR1VA6s

[Matthew Bennett @mattb291]

Wait until they start buying the social media companies too . . . oh, wait. . .

[Matthew Bennett @mattb291]

@CeliaSGregory @localnatives @WNXPnashville I'm a huge Paul Simon fan (it's how I got @ayumibennett to give me the time of day) and I love the obvious joy of this cover! Excited they have new music - Local Natives are in my playlist as we speak!

[Matthew Bennett @mattb291]

@creditorlaw This cripples my 'thought sideways text was a foreign language' defense . . .

[Matthew Bennett @mattb291]

@ArcticEllie @appodlachia Has he ever even met a woman, beyond asking her to get him coffee? He's still wondering what a boob looks like in real life.

[Matthew Bennett @mattb291]

@WipeHomophobia Plug into Xmas this year with W-S! Perfect for decorating the back door during the holidays!

[Matthew Bennett @mattb291]

@flophousecat I'm not sure why I just read this as PTSD Stuart, so I'll just say enjoy the trip!