Matt Cotton

A big guy stuck in a small man's body

[Matt Cotton @mattcottonballs]

I’ve been playing cat and mouse with this garter snakes all afternoon

[Matt Cotton @mattcottonballs]

I nearly throw out my back every time I sneeze

[Matt Cotton @mattcottonballs]

@chellswo He’s back!!!

[Matt Cotton @mattcottonballs]

@barstoolcarl Yo check the other oversized luggage carousels down there. They put mine in the wrong one last time about 100 yards down

[Matt Cotton @mattcottonballs]

I’ve finally come to the conclusion that the sesame is my favorite seed

[Matt Cotton @mattcottonballs]

@ChrisKallas70 You got your wish

[Matt Cotton @mattcottonballs]

@DankMystic Are we talking O’Hare? Personal pan pizzas? If so, couldn’t agree more. Otherwise, disregard

[Matt Cotton @mattcottonballs]

@johnfromwrigley His dad stands until Tamar makes a basket. Still standing!

[Matt Cotton @mattcottonballs]

@OmahaBloke Bourbon is a great deal. Pork tenderloin is solid. Roasted lemon chicken won’t disappoint. DM me for more suggestions

[Matt Cotton @mattcottonballs]

@tommydelzo I am in Bloomington this weekend and am already back at the hotel tonight. Sports didn’t even have a line yet as I walked by #blessed

[Matt Cotton @mattcottonballs]

Heading to O’Hare. My Uber driver just asked me: “departures or arrivals, sir?”
I have my luggage with me... I can’t think of a situation where I would take an Uber to arrivals?

[Matt Cotton @mattcottonballs]

@Kopach13 I had it as a “must play” at my wedding. Great track

[Matt Cotton @mattcottonballs]

@nannycotton That’s my woman!

[Matt Cotton @mattcottonballs]

@gracedvo That’s just Kraft cheese pasta. Macaroni is a type of noodle #FYI #factcheck

[Matt Cotton @mattcottonballs]

@Hunty913 The budget was backend loaded. You’re good

[Matt Cotton @mattcottonballs]

I’m gonna cry like 3 times watching this Tiger documentary

[Matt Cotton @mattcottonballs]

@johnfromwrigley I pray for this

[Matt Cotton @mattcottonballs]

@barstoolcarl Min min Asian cafe on Irving park

[Matt Cotton @mattcottonballs]

@LegsRodman Use it less than once a year. Only for the appropriate occasion.

[Matt Cotton @mattcottonballs]

@LegsRodman