Matt's Name but a Pun

Above average complainer.

[Matt's Name but a Pun @mattessner]

It turns out, most people are in Broken Social Scene.

[Matt's Name but a Pun @mattessner]

Clearly it's not the worst thing he did, but Platner probably drove to his victim's house full on intoxicated which is also a crime.

[Matt's Name but a Pun @mattessner]

@Amtrak We're moving now. We're going to be almost 3 hours late.

[Matt's Name but a Pun @mattessner]

@Amtrak I'm stuck on one of your trains outside of Alton, Il and no one is telling us what's up. Any ideas?

[Matt's Name but a Pun @mattessner]

@Amtrak 305 Lincoln Service

[Matt's Name but a Pun @mattessner]

@Amtrak the train that was supposed to leave 2 hours after us, just caught up to us. They are parked on the tracks next to us. Still no information as to what's going on.

[Matt's Name but a Pun @mattessner]

@blankcheckpod This is why the word hero exists.

[Matt's Name but a Pun @mattessner]

The worst part about being alive is that there are some times when I'm not playing guitar. This tweet brought to you by my crippling addiction to learning Tyler Childers songs.

[Matt's Name but a Pun @mattessner]

@CoachMayerKHS Wow. I didn't realize you had been megalodon pilled.

[Matt's Name but a Pun @mattessner]

I don't care if reading this contradicts your fragile belief system. I'm sick of walking on egg shells. Shark Week isn't real. It was made up and perpetuated by corporations to sell shark related products and content. Get over it.

[Matt's Name but a Pun @mattessner]

At chipotle, sitting next to an absolute legend who brought his own avocado and is loading up his burrito bowl with the good stuff, Chipotle's $2 cado upcharge be damned.

[Matt's Name but a Pun @mattessner]

Indy 5 is aggressively mediocre. It doesn't even really feel like an Indiana Jones movie.

[Matt's Name but a Pun @mattessner]

There are reasons to not like the Flash. The bag CGI is a lazy take. You know what else has bad CGI? The United States Constitution. Do you hate that too? #politicalcommentary #thesecolorsdontrun

[Matt's Name but a Pun @mattessner]

I have, unfortunately, run out of things to do that aren't go see the new Transformers movie.

[Matt's Name but a Pun @mattessner]

Ted Lasso season 3 is bad in so many ways. The pacing is weird, the plotting is bad, big events are just handled off screen. It's such a weirdly incompetent season of television.

[Matt's Name but a Pun @mattessner]

Hot Dogs taste better on trains.

[Matt's Name but a Pun @mattessner]

Tes Lasso season 3 is what happens when you write a TV show but forget to include stakes.

[Matt's Name but a Pun @mattessner]

The satisfaction I feel when the couple who's reading poetry to each at the crowded coffee shop spill their coffees when they are trying to restrain their dog as he loses his shit at the other dog that an idiot brought to a crowded coffee shop.

[Matt's Name but a Pun @mattessner]

I've walked so much today, my Fitbit is like, You ok, bro?

[Matt's Name but a Pun @mattessner]

There's a couple arguing right outside the window of the coffee shop I'm at. I can't hear what either of them are saying , but I'm taking the side of the one wearing vans and cat socks because she's effectively communicating that she is good at picking footwear.