Matt reznick

cms '16

[Cal Men's Soccer @CalMSoc]

That's a goal and an assist for Kevin Carmichael tonight in Seattle! #GoBears

[Matt reznick @mattreznick]

If you text somebody “here” and they reply with “coming” they are actually 17 minutes away from getting into your car

[Matt reznick @mattreznick]

@grace_ginther He looks like he’d be the leader of a Christmas caroling group

[Matt reznick @mattreznick]

@grace_ginther He looks like he’d be in an old navy catalogue for flannels and beanies

[Thomas White @len0killer]

No more bullshit

[Matt reznick @mattreznick]

Ughhh I just want to get in a bar fight one of these days. A little old fashioned knock-around where we show fists and feel pain. My local saloon is letting me down

[Kevin Baker @atkevinbaker]

Being the late guy isn’t easy. What if you guys have a sick conversation before I got there

[Matt reznick @mattreznick]

@kbwizrd In the time it took for you to post this you could’ve reworded a possible tweet 5 times, cmon bro

[Matt reznick @mattreznick]

@kbwizrd Yeah fr people really don’t be looking around multidirectionally until they they see a large object falling above them like they used to

[Matt reznick @mattreznick]

People just don’t be slipping on banana peels like they used to

[Kevin Baker @atkevinbaker]

@mattreznick People don’t run over cliff edges and get suspended mid air until they look down like they used to

[Matt reznick @mattreznick]

This beers good, that ones not, it’s all relative and we’re all going to die some day

[donald boat @laserboat999]

(moping in my bed late at night staring at ceiling) hey Benicio… why won’t she love me back?

my Brazilian roommate (murmuring in his sleep) julian.. casablancas… COME TO Sau Paulo… 🇧🇷

[Matt reznick @mattreznick]

If you see me eating a nectarine just give us some privacy please

[Matt reznick @mattreznick]

When was the last time you actually sat down and ate a nectarine

[Matt reznick @mattreznick]

House music vocals in 2030 be like “the music was so good, we were all moving our bodies together. The dj was up there looking cool. So cool. Go up there and kiss the dj. We’re all in this timeless warp together. Go kiss the dj. Let’s drift into infinite space”

[Matt reznick @mattreznick]

“Support our striking actors and actresses”

Yes how undoubtedly attractive they are

[Matt reznick @mattreznick]

Sorry I’m late your honor my services had been requested at the griddy convention

[Matt reznick @mattreznick]

You know that moment you’re walking towards someone you know and they give the little nod so you take your headphones off then it just ends up being a non verbal dap up interaction