Matt's Mumblings

[Matt's Mumblings @mattsmumblings]

Everyone knows printers love hugs. #printerprince #hugsnotprinterprobz

[Matt's Mumblings @mattsmumblings]

I think it's an LG remote.
It's LA GIT!
I've never hated you more. #andisawfulanswers @Andi_Answers

[Matt's Mumblings @mattsmumblings]

Your lack of hydration has no effect on my emotions. #h2obro #transfucient

[Matt's Mumblings @mattsmumblings]

Sump pump and hose? I'm sorry is that a rap group?

[Matt's Mumblings @mattsmumblings]

A day sans pants is a day well spent.

[Matt's Mumblings @mattsmumblings]

What button did you push?!
I just gave it a hug. #MagicalHPLaserjetMan #PrinterPrinceofSLOM #EmbraceElectronics ✌🏼🖨

[Matt's Mumblings @mattsmumblings]

How often is there a mass Exodi at the fair? #goatsgone

[Matt's Mumblings @mattsmumblings]

[saves small pile of pop tabs for Andi's goat tournament] "I can't compete with alcoholism." #nogoatsnoglory

[Matt's Mumblings @mattsmumblings]

"I'm like a human Snapchat. Sometimes people hear it and you can't get it back."

[Matt's Mumblings @mattsmumblings]

"I just want to be known as a handsome man of unknown origins."

[Matt's Mumblings @mattsmumblings]

"Dash? What is that? The Kardashians? What, do they sell influence or something?"