Matty Softmitts

this is not my beautiful house

Send business inquiries. I'm begging you

[Matty Softmitts @mattysoftmitts]

I'm mad at God for making us have to go to the bathroom

[Matty Softmitts @mattysoftmitts]

WE NEED A NEW FOOD

[Matty Softmitts @mattysoftmitts]

I hate it when I accidentally sleep for 12 hours, that only leaves time for 4 entire meals and 6 snacks

[Matty Softmitts @mattysoftmitts]

@__highma every time, I refuse to watch it anymore

[Matty Softmitts @mattysoftmitts]

@ErikNewman01 We're all amazed I made it another year!

[Matty Softmitts @mattysoftmitts]

@LegendaryDrop This guy seems smart, funny, and attractive, I fully support his endeavors

[Legendary Drop (Matty) @LegendaryDrop]

IT'S MY BIRTHDAY!

Honestly, the greatest gift anyone could give me is to check out my TTRPG game Shattered Empire. I need some playtesters!

Player's Handbook plus a bunch of other sourcebooks and resources are all free pdf downloads below...

https://t.co/DbafXUGRlB

[Matty Softmitts @mattysoftmitts]

@jovial_cynic I'll gladly lose at this game over and over again

[Matty Softmitts @mattysoftmitts]

@shaneherzer They're almost ready, boy oh boy

[Matty Softmitts @mattysoftmitts]

I'm gonna make some real good Easter jokes just you wait

[Matty Softmitts @mattysoftmitts]

I'm still writing 2023 on all my food journals

[Legendary Drop (Matty) @LegendaryDrop]

There was a dragon in the clouds outside my window last night...

[kim @KimmyMonte]

every squirrel you see is currently on a dare from another squirrel

[josh (oldfriend99) @oldfriend99]

Caillou's dad: (texting) caillou is freaking the fuck out

[Matty Softmitts @mattysoftmitts]

me following up any statement I make: "Nevertheless..."

[Matty Softmitts @mattysoftmitts]

I don't actually believe that I deserve good things, but I certainly want them

[Matty Softmitts @mattysoftmitts]

I have to do things in the precise order. For example, I need to start prepping dinner, but I can't do that until I take a shower, and I can't take a shower until I vacuum the house, and I can't vacuum the house until I drink an Irish Car Bomb

[Matty Softmitts @mattysoftmitts]

I pray that future generations will have the wisdom and awareness to rise up, behold the evil that we hath wrought, and completely eradicate 'YouTube voice' once and for all

[Matty Softmitts @mattysoftmitts]

@shaneherzer Thank god we finally got some closure to this thread

[thomas violence @thomas_violence]

people talk a lot of shit about him but i think its amazing jar jar is doing this

[Matty Softmitts @mattysoftmitts]

@VPace SHOW ME YOUR WAYS

[Matty Softmitts @mattysoftmitts]

I'm jealous of people that can just casually blow their nose. it's always such a big fucking ordeal for me