Max Phil

Yaliyopita lowkey si ndwele, we deadass gotta ganga yajayo

[𝕷𝖚𝖈𝖎𝖋𝖊𝖗 @LucifersTweetz]

If billionaires came out and said they were going to hunt us for sport, some of you would defend it by saying:

"You’re just mad because you can’t fucking run fast."

[FLEA 🇭🇹 @babyibeenajoint]

if Pharrell released “Happy” today we would have whooped his ass

[evil nugget wife chicken pervert and ᵗʰᵉ ᵏᵒˡᵉ @ttpdfc]

before i work on myself does anyone want me the way i am now

[Tumezoza kwa mneti @fellah_2]

Hii mwaka nimesema "Wantam" mara mingi kuliko "I love you" 😂

[323 @Ggod323]

i swear my consequences don't even have actions

[the stabber @quiet_homeboy]

Once, while sitting in a GP clinic, I overheard a baby say “goo goo ga ga”, and the mother reply: “Well. That’s very stereotypical of you.”

[Marco @Marco_Acortes]

Corona virus....its coming

[Urenna @BridgetUrenna]

“You will die single.”
I don’t understand. Do people die in groups now?

[Arsenal @Arsenal]

The Arsenal. Your Premier League champions.

[🚨The Celebration Police🚨 @PLCPolice]

Arsenal celebrating like they’ve won the league

[Arsenal @Arsenal]

Arsenal: 2025/26 Premier League champions.

[Doxa @Oom_nins]

One day I’ll take my colleagues to a boxing gym (under the guise of team building) and do what needs to be done.🙏🏾

[Ebere @EbereEze10]

I swear imma make It and when I do, they're gunna show this tweet lol

[. @Dboysback65]

You can literally post a picture of your grandma on here, and someone will bookmark the picture 😭

[Shravani @shrav_10]

Referred someone at my company a few days ago the interview went so bad, they ended up interviewing me again

[TeeBag🇰🇪 @tii_bag]

HR gave this gen z guy a 30 day suspension coz he came in late 3 days consecutively. The gen z seized the opportunity and went on a vacation.The HR recalls him back after 10 days and he's refusing to come back saying he hasn't finished his suspension

[Hassan. @Heyitshassan]

I am fully convinced that 2019 was the last normal year we ever had. Ever since then, it feels like everything’s broken. Everyone is constantly anxious, time moves too fast, and nothing actually feels real anymore. The world as we knew it is just gone

[deedee megadoodoo @givemebudlight]

if they nuke us can they make sure to do it in the morning i don’t wanna work all fucking day just to come home and get nuked

[✯ @sine_minaj]

apparently telling your coworker that you knew they were born by c-section the way they avoid labor is not acceptable

[staxxx🦅 @papiwontmiss]

My grandpa got bitten by a spider and he was really upset so i went to get some cream but before i could leave the room i heard him say “at this age i can't handle the responsibility of being a spiderman”. Lmfao