aaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh... slowly getting to that point where "Ohhh okay, i now understand why things happened that way."
i'm now appreciating the loss, the delay, the disappoinments, are all leading me to a better state.
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the hardest thing i’ve learned this year is that you can never force someone to communicate and work things out. you can’t beg for someone to see that you are worth fighting for. and i stand by that now.