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@fooljeff’s poly wife & baby mama ☀️

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venus + a tree by the ocean 🖤

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@strangestloop yeah it like, jangled around in my own meaning-making system for a while

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I was walking my dog and pushing my son in his stroller and texting my husband and a man swore at me to get off my phone and it was a really strange experience

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@jonah_hedgehog yeah it was pretty shocking and I was too thrown off to ask him for any context around it so it was pretty confusing to be on the receiving end of

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it’s taking me a long time to process, I wish it was less impactful

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@QiaochuYuan I forgive you!

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& I see IVF parents as cursed but not so much IVF babies (I have embryos and my baby sister is an IVF baby)

maybe IVF babies are protected from the spiritual damage by the unimaginable amount of prayer they receive throughout the process, the rest of us are not known and prayed for so much so early

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@QiaochuYuan ime IVF is for sure a little cursed for the parents! you only wind up needing IVF if you’re cursed to some degree or another. but like lots of medical intervention, I think the curse would be more cursed without it

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I am not great at taking one step and then dropping the issue until the outcome arrives to provide clarity about a new step

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being back in the trying to conceive space confronts me with a lot of the less good parts of my personality :(

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I am experimenting with doing less armoring up this time but the trade off is that I cry a lot and need my hair stroked gently often

[Brother Tasshin @tasshinfogleman]

all of the love in my heart will find its home, all of the eros in my soul will blossom fully in its own time ❤️

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@OntologicalMax @Plinz being meta-comfortable works too

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@PoemsWeBurned hahaha humbly based

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I know motherhood is a sort of the default aspiration for women and there are a lot of reasons that others decide not to accept that default or do and then find out it doesn’t fit them well

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@myceliummage hi mage ❤️

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I’m pretty overwhelmed lately and I think it would be helpful for me to be writing here again to help me process maybe?

but the cacophony of other voices can add to the overwhelm and I’m not sure how to be intentional about how I engage

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maybe this is just me sensing into the upcoming Venus retrograde

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it’s interesting to reach out and touch my connections to former lovers and feel how they are different

some have a sort of melancholy pulse, one is still like a live wire, some are warm and plush, a surprising number of them feel strange like static

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as a mom I make more mistakes and more items on my to do list don’t get crossed off and sometimes things I do just need to be started over and correspondingly I have more humility and I let more go and I am less easily frustrated

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@shaunalawn aw thank you, I am starting to have some faith that I will find my way back to a new way of feeling that about myself

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for a written platform, it’s funny to feel into how much what I offered here has been visual beauty