pooja from tinder (do not text)

5’6 according to my driver’s license. chaotic neutral according to everything else

[pooja from tinder (do not text) @maybepooja]

security guard asked if being so beautiful hurts my face. it does, btw

[pooja from tinder (do not text) @maybepooja]

i hate my colonizers :(

[pooja from tinder (do not text) @maybepooja]

@pipecork i’m not allowed to joke i WANT to be put down. this is different

[pooja from tinder (do not text) @maybepooja]

having such a good day i’m starting to be concerned i’m being put down tomorrow

[pooja from tinder (do not text) @maybepooja]

i like how soccer players fall down the same way the toys do in toy story when andy comes home

[pooja from tinder (do not text) @maybepooja]

worked out before work again 🙄 feels great 🙄 this blows

[pooja from tinder (do not text) @maybepooja]

i was having a bad morning but then my pilates instructor commented on my long legs <3 she also said she was thinking about my big toe earlier this week but whatever i’ll take it <3

[pooja from tinder (do not text) @maybepooja]

@erincartwheel barely legal fr

[pooja from tinder (do not text) @maybepooja]

chris keeps calling us “middle aged”. i’m 33

[pooja from tinder (do not text) @maybepooja]

@harry tweeting at 4am? yes.

[pooja from tinder (do not text) @maybepooja]

@harry bad luck bar? no.

[pooja from tinder (do not text) @maybepooja]

sometimes when i’m feeling bad about myself i just read my own letterboxd reviews and go hahaha

[pooja from tinder (do not text) @maybepooja]

changing the toilet paper roll in a bar bathroom and then asking to be put in the tip pool >>>>>

[pooja from tinder (do not text) @maybepooja]

@harry can i have 5 dollars

[pooja from tinder (do not text) @maybepooja]

i’m the sleepiest girl in the world but at least i’m also fucking exhausted

[pooja from tinder (do not text) @maybepooja]

@harry do you hate her or something

[pooja from tinder (do not text) @maybepooja]

nothing makes me feel more patriotic than air conditioning

[pooja from tinder (do not text) @maybepooja]

@BickenBandwich you have maybe done one thing wrong ever but it was justified so also kinda not

[pooja from tinder (do not text) @maybepooja]

btw don’t bother wishing me a happy birthday tomorrow if you’re not also calling me funny and hot. everyone has a birthday but a lot of people aren’t the other 2 things

[pooja from tinder (do not text) @maybepooja]

@male_therapists you’ve never done anything wrong

[pooja from tinder (do not text) @maybepooja]

sorry i cant work im too busy at the responding to so many birthday messages factory… maybe hire someone less likeable next time