Tracy May

May

[KIPRONO @Onorpik]

The art of nyama choma is quickly getting lost in Kenya, all we get nowadays is boiled meat passed over the grill for a few minutes. 💔💔

[Mwangî @archiemwas]

My dad says he always sides with his wife because at least he knows she’s his. We, on the other hand, were just brought home from the hospital and introduced to him. 😂😂

[Mia♡ @luxemiaa]

My husband texted me saying he was feeling very nauseous so I told him to take a pregnancy test 🤣 for a second I thought maybe I was bein insensitive but then he texted back saying “you told me you were wearing a condom 🫪” and I’ve been laughing about it all day 😭

[Mia♡ @luxemiaa]

Just went into my 2yo son’s room to check on him and noticed he needed a diaper change. So I change him as quickly as possible so he wouldn’t wake up. I covered him and started closing his bedroom door and I hear a quiet, sleepy “tank yew” 😭😭😭

[Isaac @isaacrrr7]

Una mujer apuñala violentamente a dos niños mientras sus padres observan aterrorizados.

Algunos cuestionan la reacción de los padres. ¿Qué opinas?

[FC Kibe @Kibet_Goat]

Niliwahi own a pharmacy nikaemploy a Genz graduate. Jamaa alikua anapiga kazi safi hadi nikareduce supervision. Kuna siku I made an impromptu visit nikapata ame employ two pharmtecs on locum wako busy with clients kwa counter, mwenyewe anafanya online tasks with my work desktop😂

[Katonny💥 @tonvionny]

My wife who has never run before decided to join her friends for a run. No preparation, no exercise just vibes.. Now I'm being called to pick her up from the ambulance 😂

[ONJOLO KENYA🇰🇪 @onjolo_kenya]

Watched an Alex Mwakideu interview the other day he was talking to the legendary judge from Vioja Mahakamani. Millennials, you know her ~That no-nonsense mama who took zero nonsense in that courtroom.

Now here’s the wild part they never had scripts. Not a single one. They’d just show up, pick roles, agree on the case, and go. Cameras rolling, take one, done.
So every punchline Alphonse Makacha and Dot Makokha ever dropped? Pure improvisation. No rehearsal. Nothing prepared. Just talent doing its thing in real time.

Kenya really had something special with that crew.

And here’s the part that gets me AG Amos Wako was fully behind the show. He’d supply them with real court cases and actual judgments from Kenyan courts. So when the judge passed her verdict on screen, it wasn’t made up. It was legally accurate, straight from the constitution.

Comedy on the surface. Civic education underneath.

That’s a level of craft most productions today can’t touch.

Golden era. Salute to those legends. 🫡

[Arsenal @Arsenal]

More Martin magic 🪄

Shot on Google Pixel 🤳

[S. Kowino Jr. OTC☝🏽 @KowinoJr]

That crowd you see right there is all you need to achieve the revolution you talk about so much but guess why they might not step up? Because you hate them. You're mocking the very person they are mourning. How will they trust you that you are genuine when you need them?

[𝖭𝗂𝖼𝖼��™ @iLnico4real]

I still don't get the concept behind life, what are we here for exactly?

[Thirsty Kipsoiwet 🇰🇪 🇳🇱 @Makiadi_]

Kuna hizi towel woolen za lower middle class nilinunua supermarket na kumbe kuna “procedure” unafaa kufanyia before uanze kutumia officially. Nimetoka bathroom, nikajiona kwa mirror nafanana na Chemeri.

[Eve Maina @evenmaina]

Haha Baba ata hapiganii kiti Kenya lakini bado nchi mzima iko in panic mode waiting for results. Buana there will never be another Raila.😂

[EDGAR @edgarwabwire_]

I have heard stories of women going to Kilimani and Pooping and Urinating on Carpets, this is exactly what happens

A Long Thread

[Nelson Havi SC @NelsonHavi]

Some young men sold Sirona Hotel using a fake title and received Kshs 200M. They came to me when the DCI attached their accounts then with only Kshs 25M remaining. I asked them to deposit fees of Kshs 5M before I could move to Court.

In the evening we had maji ya anasa with Mugambi Imanyara and I told him about it. He told me, those men are the walking dead. Do not take their money.

A week later, I saw a bullet ridden Mercedes Benz 200C across my office at Parklands Station. I asked the OCPD, my school mate from Musingu what happened. He told me, “wale Mawakili wa Sirona na client wao waliumwa wote. Hakuna kesi tena.”

[Aleckie Ronald @SirAlexas]

Mimi kwanza heri uniite mchoyo, siezi pea mtoto wa wenyewe chakula ata akilia aje, a very thin line hapo, unaeza jipata kwa shida kubwa sanaaa

[Weigo @Samweigo]

After kuomba kinembe, kuna siku nilijiaibisha kwa crush ajab. Pale
2014 after kupata job hapo AAR Williamson house upper hill, kuna
kadem kalikua hapo reception mali safi ajab. Vile mimi huwa smooth operator nikaamua kurusha manifesto yangu design Raila

[§aruni @GSaruni]

Fun Fact: A camel knows when it's marked for death.

It has to be coerced by the lead herder or it'll fight hard and bloody.

Also once it comes to accept it's fate it literally cries...

Camels are very intelligent and loving

[Eric @amerix]

MPs of KENYA,

Listen,

I want to warn you,

Don't try to extend term limits.

We SHALL come for you.

What do you take us for? Fools?

Do you think we have forgotten?

We SHALL storm that house with stones & whips.

Try!

We SHALL deal with you.

Jaribu.

Mnatuzoea sasa.

[internet hall of fame @InternetH0F]

A South African man proposed to his girlfriend at KFC, and a journalist shamed him on Twitter for being "broke." The backlash led to companies offering to fund the couple's dream wedding and support their new life together.

A short thread 🧵