Mayor McDuck

I'm a handsome and visionary duck, doting father to Basil, Rosemary, Sage, others. Felon (I was framed). I speak truth to Johnny, colonial power in the house.

[Mayor McDuck @mayormcduck]

If you only talk to mammals, you will just have the perspective of hairy, milk-slurping murderers. And that's pretty insular.

[Mayor McDuck @mayormcduck]

@Girl_Censored Moving the goalpost in dating is a great strategy! My next suggested move is to refuse to take a paternity test.

[Mayor McDuck @mayormcduck]

@SamInspired Everybody deserves a little rapture once in a while

[Mayor McDuck @mayormcduck]

@Girl_Censored My girlfriend says the same.

[Mayor McDuck @mayormcduck]

If someone says ‘lay-tex’ and it doesn’t autocorrect to ‘la-tek’ in your head do you even have a graduate degree in a STEM field?

[Mayor McDuck @mayormcduck]

The solstice will be at 1:20 AM Saturday and that timing is suspicious. What is the government hiding by scheduling such an important event in the middle of the night the weekend before Christmas? Is it a cover-up? A conspiracy orchestrated by the 2024 Washington Commanders?

[Mayor McDuck @mayormcduck]

@Mom_Overboard @MickieMarieLove It’s the motion of the ocean not the size of the management

[Mayor McDuck @mayormcduck]

@herprettybones Yeah monogamy bothers the shit out of me too

[Mayor McDuck @mayormcduck]

@millerIowlife @Skoog same

[Mayor McDuck @mayormcduck]

When they do call this election for Trump a mob of sobbing Karens will descend on Whole Foods and empty the wine aisle in minutes. I call on President Biden to open the Strategic Pinot Grigio Reserve to stabilize prices and maintain public order during this crisis.

[Mayor McDuck @mayormcduck]

@YSylon @girl_a_whirl FUCK YEAH

[Mayor McDuck @mayormcduck]

@nayele18maybe johnny laughs at this one every time https://t.co/jds48jSda6

[Mayor McDuck @mayormcduck]

@26MoreLives Does death work differently for mammals? I didn’t think if you die of anything you’d be able to go cry about it to someone.

[Mayor McDuck @mayormcduck]

@wildethingy I’m a stuffed animal who speaks truth to power with devastating good looks. I’m worse than any nightmare.

[Mayor McDuck @mayormcduck]

@eleniZarro @MickieMarieLove Elvis Impersonator Advisory Board

[Mayor McDuck @mayormcduck]

@Girl_Censored Agreed, it’s better for you to be a carpetbagger than give up on yourself entirely.

[Mayor McDuck @mayormcduck]

@cheap_bandnames @NBABabySecret Johnny says he pulls a calculator pretty often at work, says it proudly like he’s glad he can’t do math

[Mayor McDuck @mayormcduck]

My inner teenager told me today he and I would die on the same day and that’s pretty cool.

Kid has too much time on his hands.

[Mayor McDuck @mayormcduck]

Razor wire fences are useless against my people because our spirit is indomitable.

[Mayor McDuck @mayormcduck]

@shouldhaveanima Look at that bellyflop. Amateur!

[Mayor McDuck @mayormcduck]

I don’t believe amphibians actually leapfrog. As a duck I’m amphibious myself and I see no reason to do it. Duck out.