Michael

Half man, half pepperoni and sausage.
Xillenial. Something, something—the end.

[Michael @mchl]

I think I may be evolving faster than the rest of humanity. Or, I am ill. It's one of the two.

[Michael @mchl]

If there is a heaven,
I’d like to spend eternity
floating along a gentle,
monsoon-produced stream,
with soft rain falling onto my cheeks.

[whalefact @awhalefact]

whales never use generative AI, but they do make poop from a butt, which is similar except that whale poop is essential to the health of our oceans and generative AI is essential to being a fucking loser

[Michael @mchl]

Bought a grilled cheese sandwich on my way home to fill it with leftover salmon fillet. It seems kinda backward, but it’s terribly scrumptious; it may be my best idea of the day.

[Michael @mchl]

It gets lonely being the only person in the history of the universe who has never watched or had any interest in watching a Spider-Man movie, TV series—animated or otherwise—or any other Spider-Man-related media.

[Boyd's Backyard™ @TheBoydP]

The biggest thing I learned from the eighties is that stopping the world and melting with you is harder than it seems.

[Michael @mchl]

“Don’t worry, night crew will clean this up.” —Me, to my pet. But it’s actually a balled-up used paper towel from spaghetti night.

[Michael @mchl]

Don’t objectify my patootie.

[aIenka @ankyhaidy]

why don't we just add all the numbers together and have one big number

[Michael @mchl]

She’d be appalled by my energy bill.

[Michael @mchl]

Early on, I learned from my mother that we don’t turn on our heater until it’s below freezing and the a/c does not go on until you’re swimming in your own sweat.

[Michael @mchl]

AI has decimated the newspaper vending machine industry and thus has limited my ability to acquire cheap and convenient papier-mâché supplies. When will this savagery end?

[Michael @mchl]

Thanks to whomever first saw the inside of a pumpkin and thought, “I wanna eat that.”

[Michael @mchl]

I miss the days when British actors had terrible American accents.

[Michael @mchl]

That one has a little outie.

[Archive @archivebycosmos]

Handmade sculptures by José Manuel Castro López.

[Michael @mchl]

I see the humor,
the intellect,
the ethics,
the sexuality,
the vulnerability,
and the resilience in you.

None of them contradicts the others.
They are all you.

[Michael @mchl]

Slurp your noodles and live free.

[The Dad Camp @TheDadCamp]

I can’t stop pressing my face to the sun.

[The Dad Camp @TheDadCamp]

(Drops out of the ceiling onto your living room floor)

Dude, your ceilings suck.

[hi @hikpki]

i want to understand you in ways that nobody has ever even thought to try .

[Nostos @NostosLit]

― Franz Kafka, Letters to Milena

[Michael @mchl]

This is one of my favorite Dickens paragraphs (to read aloud):

Fog everywhere. Fog up the river, where it flows among green aits and meadows; fog down the river, where it rolls defiled among the tiers of shipping, and the waterside pollutions of a great (and dirty) city. Fog on the Essex marshes, fog on the Kentish heights. Fog creeping into the cabooses of collier-brigs; fog lying out on the yards, and hovering in the rigging of great ships; fog drooping on the gunwales of barges and small boats. Fog in the eyes and throats of ancient Greenwich pensioners, wheezing by the firesides of their wards; fog in the stem and bowl of the afternoon pipe of the wrathful skipper, down in his close cabin; fog cruelly pinching the toes and fingers of his shivering little ’prentice boy on deck. Chance people on the bridges peeping over the parapets into a nether sky of fog, with fog all round them, as if they were up in a balloon, and hanging in the misty clouds.

Bleak House (1853)