matthew

[Victoria Rose @woahhvickyyy]

please, wear your nice clothes everyday. the special occasion is being alive.

[Chris Chole @ChrisCholee]

Adam Sandler showing his sexy abs

[Berwyn Choobs @sabatonfan69]

An absolute hornswoggle of a day. Retreated to my study to listen to the music of Barenaked Ladies with a glass of Cognac and found myself utterly chuffed… If I had a million dollars indeed!

[matt @mattybtweets69]

Hims® should just say fuck it and start selling percocet

[Hollywood Deals @LocalDingus]

ever since I left the city you!

[HellCatMaddy @Madmaddingcrowd]

“No sex scenes and the food looks horrible.”

Sounds like dinner with my wife!

[soc @socrypt]

How I want my wife to react after I crack open my 12th beer on a weekday

[Joeyꪗ @Jxxyy]

Are you aware of your Character flaws? Are you Actively working on correcting them ?

[leftpain @left_plain]

Oh, and 007? Do try not to call them “foids” this time…

[I eat short people @UnderwearStain]

Farted so hard when wiping my ass i completely blew 3 fingers off my own hand

[𝘔𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵𝘺 🥷🏿 @Pighty]

Had a dream where rosa parks sat on my face and refused to get up 💀