MedicHumor

EMS Jokes, Short Stories, Etc. EMS Humor that Doesn't Suck!

[MedicHumor @MedicHumor]

Ripping off the finger of your glove to start an IV is about as effective as jamming a hole through the end of your condom

[Melanie Austin @melsails]

@MedicHumor Every. Shift.

[Burnt Medic @Burnt_Medic]

@MedicHumor My efforts to get prescribed IV caffeine have failed so far. I keep trying tho.

[MedicHumor @MedicHumor]

You can't tell me you haven't at least considered a coffee IV

[MedicHumor @MedicHumor]

My EMS retirement fund includes 36 scratch off lotto tickets and investment into Folgers Coffee

[MedicHumor @MedicHumor]

I need to stop referring to my partner as the "Designated Driver"

[MedicHumor @MedicHumor]

The crewmember with the highest GCS drives to the call at 4 AM

[MedicHumor @MedicHumor]

I just diagnosed the backup alarm with atrial fib

[MedicHumor @MedicHumor]

Ambo-squeak: The constant high pitched squeak from unknown origin that makes you die a little inside as you travel down the highway

[MedicHumor @MedicHumor]

S'mornin: On this date, prior to the 12 o'clock hour

"I took my meds S'mornin like I s'post to"

[MedicHumor @MedicHumor]

It's less than a week till Christmas and the directions include "It's the house with the Christmas lights." Could we narrow it down a bit?

[MedicHumor @MedicHumor]

The Garfield: Cramming as much food into you mouth as quickly as possible when you try to eat but the calls won't stop

[911 Redhead @911_redhead]

Supervisor with a fist full of needles: "Who else wants a flu shot? No? How about a prison tat?"

[MedicHumor @MedicHumor]

A coworker just said to me "Well I went and picked up the keg for our family get together tomorrow"

I've been doing Thanksgiving all wrong

[MedicHumor @MedicHumor]

"Ya know my last ambulance ride was very rough and uncomfortable"

"We will try to make this ride just a pleasurable as your last, sir"

[MedicHumor @MedicHumor]

The odds of a patient being completely naked raises exponentially higher based on their weight

[MedicHumor @MedicHumor]

That grunt of disgust you make when you step off the rig and can already smell them

[MedicHumor @MedicHumor]

So would the bulb on a miller blade be considered a.... Miller Lite??

[MedicHumor @MedicHumor]

The lifepack is actually a JOULEry box guys.....a f@#$%n joulery box!!