medium sized circle

---------

[あひるさん @5ducks5]

社食ランチ中、紙ナプキンの上に図を描いて説明してたんだけど、喋りながら持ってたペンをずっとクルクル回してたら🇺🇸人同僚が「ちょっとおい！なんだよそれ！」と言ってきたので、中学校の英語の授業で習ったけど、20年以上の海外生活では一度も使われず、それでもずっと健気に、己を磨き、弛まぬ努力を続けて、いつか必ずやってくる出番を待ち続けた彼が、私の中でゆっくりと立ち上がり口を開いた。

This is a pen.

[૮ ˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶ ა @CBD42O]

this is so hard to explain but theres a bird in my neighborhood i have to confront

[Riley Goodside @goodside]

The elites don’t want you to know this, but you can use Google’s stapler. You can borrow Google’s umbrella. You can have a sip of Google’s water. You can have two of Google’s fries.

[Brooks Otterlake @i_zzzzzz]

My new thing is when I see a spider in someone's house I casually ask "You training a spider?"

[richard @Dickwith2dogs]

No we meant questions about the job

[Waylon Nutterbutter @SpunkityBall]

my dad hates the EAT sign my mom put up in the kitchen so he put up a SHIT sign in the bathroom

[henry @arithmoquine]

products that clearly require a dead wife to use as intended, instance 1:

[nuz @punishednuz]

it's her day

[jude @judecomputer]

i love bobs burgers and will never stop watching it but i steadfastly insist that its absolute funniest moment is early in season one when tina is laying on the floor upset that a boy moved away and she’ll never play kickball with him and louise says “you should kill yourself”

[charlie @chunkbardey]

i know i’m in a good mood when i start thinking stuff like “i love unlocking locks”

[c a i t l i n @hello__caitlin]

Should I

[ariana grindcore @jackiecore666]

they should put vegetable oil on staircases 🙌 so you fall and get hurt 🔥

[rebecca jennings @rebexxxxa]

starting the second half of your sandwich is like hell yeah baby let’s run it back

[Stephen Piccarella @spiccarella]

Bro are you coming through later

[the heart @Fredward3948576]

going from a larger room to a smaller room is one of the many experiences