Mega Goblin Corp

Just your friendly neighbourhood multinational goblin corporation.

[Mega Goblin Corp @megagoblincorp]

Are you fed up with American children trying to get politicians to put the long-term survival of human civilization ahead of short-term profits for massive fossil fuel corporations?

Try Mega Goblin Corp's Patented Green Dream Remover today!

#BidenGasCrisis #ClimateEmergency

[Mega Goblin Corp @megagoblincorp]

@SoyNuriaPerez @GhostPanther What @exxonmobil really needs to fix their bad PR and maximize their brand-awareness is a Green Dream Remover!

[Mega Goblin Corp @megagoblincorp]

How to Hustle Like a Billionaire:

1. Be born rich and pay someone to manage your investments, netting more profit to hire better financial advisors to net more profit.

2. Laugh at the poor.

3. Masturbate to yourself in the mirror.

4. Rinse and repeat.

#billionaireintraining

[Mega Goblin Corp @megagoblincorp]

How To Hustle Like A Billionaire

1. Plant landmines in your front yard.
2. Hang dog treats from trees.
3. When the dogs explode, sue the owner for getting blood and entrails on your front lawn.
4. Invest in oil.

It’s called working smarter, not harder!

#billionaires4deaddogs

[Mega Goblin Corp @megagoblincorp]

How to Make Your First Billion:

1. Convince people who make $60K that migrant workers who make $5/hr are stealing their chance at happiness

2. Make some popcorn

3. Put on Rick Ross

4. Pop a $70K bottle of champagne

5. Watch as humanity cannibalizes itself.

#BillionsClub

[Mega Goblin Corp @megagoblincorp]

Entrepreneur Pro Tip:

Be born rich so you can spend your life giving motivational speeches to poor people.

BONUS POINTS: Convince them that they are lazy and don't want it enough - not that the lines of ownership were drawn before they were born!

#Entrepreneur #bebornrich

[Mega Goblin Corp @megagoblincorp]

Mega Goblin Corp's Hall of Heroes recognizes ...

Joe Manchin!

Thank you, Joe, for holding back the tide of change so tightly that nothing of meaning will get done under the Biden Administration.

We give Manchin, the Hodor award.

#presidentmanchin #houseboatsfortherich

[Mega Goblin Corp @megagoblincorp]

Jeff Bezos would never work you to death, especially not pregnant women, because that would make the pile of bodies in the Amazon warehouse TOO big.

For now.

#PrimeDay #AmazonPrimeDay
#HappyPrimeDayYouPatheticProles

[Mega Goblin Corp @megagoblincorp]

@AOC SCOTUS and Biden have no patience for those trying to ensure the planet remains habitable for future generations!

https://t.co/I3o8TAlguY

[Mega Goblin Corp @megagoblincorp]

Are you fed up with American children trying to get politicians to put the long-term survival of human civilization ahead of short-term profits for massive fossil fuel corporations?

Try Mega Goblin Corp's Patented Green Dream Remover today!

#BidenGasCrisis #ClimateEmergency

[Mega Goblin Corp @megagoblincorp]

@MikeHudema We just received a call from Biden ordering 10 000 Green Dream Removers to deal with any climate youth protesting this decision!

https://t.co/I3o8TAlguY

[Mega Goblin Corp @megagoblincorp]

Are you fed up with American children trying to get politicians to put the long-term survival of human civilization ahead of short-term profits for massive fossil fuel corporations?

Try Mega Goblin Corp's Patented Green Dream Remover today!

#BidenGasCrisis #ClimateEmergency

[Mega Goblin Corp @megagoblincorp]

@ClimateHuman https://t.co/I3o8TAlguY

[Mega Goblin Corp @megagoblincorp]

Are you fed up with American children trying to get politicians to put the long-term survival of human civilization ahead of short-term profits for massive fossil fuel corporations?

Try Mega Goblin Corp's Patented Green Dream Remover today!

#BidenGasCrisis #ClimateEmergency

[Mega Goblin Corp @megagoblincorp]

@PierrePoilievre Mega Goblin Corp proudly supports Pierre Poilievre and his plan to take us back 800 years to the Magna Carta. Take power from the government, give it to common noble Barons instead, and let Pierre polish your wood! #MCGA

[Mega Goblin Corp @megagoblincorp]

Introducing Mega Goblin Corp's Patented ... Piss Fermentor!

Who needs a stiff glass of scotch when you can piss a good buzz right into your own mouth??

#Biden #Putin #nuclearwar #ThirstyThursday

[Mega Goblin Corp @megagoblincorp]

Mind control device purchased by world's richest man *cough* strongest goblin *cough* is good for prospects of world's first trillionaire bursting from the earth's core *cough* Goblin Ragnarok *cough* All goblins will bathe in the blood of the poor. #ElonMusk

[Mega Goblin Corp @megagoblincorp]

Workers demanding basic decency has Steve Jobs spinning in his grave fast enough to power 7000 iPhone14 Pros' intentionally weak batteries for a month.

[BBC News (World) @BBCWorld]

Apple staff make bid for first union at a US store https://t.co/2IO3IxMM67

[Mega Goblin Corp @megagoblincorp]

Chomsky says humanity is "moving to a future in which the lucky ones will be those who die quickly."

Excuse me, billionaires have a ROBUST plan to slowly and painfully harvest the organs of survivors of nuclear winter for thousands of years.

Oh wait, maybe he's right. #manmeat

[The New Statesman @NewStatesman]

In a wide-ranging interview, Noam Chomsky, speaks to @georgeeaton about Brexit, the war in Ukraine and the return of Donald Trump.

[Mega Goblin Corp @megagoblincorp]

Billionaires, let's make ANOTHER blood pact!

@HowardSchultz if an 11th store gets unionized we move to Mars.

No one will bother us with their greedy demands for paid sick days, freedom from harassment, and human *shudder* dignity.

@elonmusk says the cat-girls are ready. #fun

[More Perfect Union @MorePerfectUS]

BREAKING: Starbucks workers at the Roastery in New York City have just won their union election.

They become the first unionized Starbucks in NYC after the worker that tried to organize six stores there was fired in 2006.

This is the 10th election won by @SBWorkersUnited.

[Mega Goblin Corp @megagoblincorp]

While the billionaire class is responsible for this, fear not! We have a solution.

We will hide in our New Zealand bunkers as civilization collapses this century and the rest of you starve.

But we will throw a few of you old horse meat so you are alive to eat later #eatthepoor

[António Guterres @antonioguterres]

I've seen many reports, but nothing like the new @IPCC_CH climate report, an atlas of human suffering & damning indictment of failed climate leadership.

I know people everywhere are anxious & angry. I am, too.

It's time to turn rage into #ClimateAction. https://t.co/ouBcbujyge

[Mega Goblin Corp @megagoblincorp]

Humans - 1
Billionaire Goblins - 0

You may have won this battle but you will not win the war.

@JeffBezos has fired up the mating pits in the earth's core and we are reproducing DAILY until the Goblin Army is ready to consume all unionized workplaces.
#AmazonUnion #classwar

[Mega Goblin Corp @megagoblincorp]

No billionaire has EVER relied on the government to make our riches and all billionaires are SELF-MADE because we throttle the profits out of near-dead children in the mines WITH OUR OWN CLAWED HANDS!

oops I mean regular hooman hands!