When you return from a vacation feeling fat, do the following things over the course of the next week before stepping on the scale and spiraling into a funk:
1. Walk at least 10,000 steps every day.
2. Do a few strength training workouts.
3. Drink plenty of water every day.
4. Eat plenty of protein, vegetables, and fruit.
5. Don't drink alcohol or indulge in any "treat meals."
"I'm fat and unhealthy because I eat like crap, drink too much alcohol, and refuse to exercise," said someone who should at least get credit for not bullshitting themselves.