Meg

If you aint freaky we aint speakin

[Meg @Megry017]

YES and for better tacos @greta

[Meg @Megry017]

Perfect. The man in the emergency exit row cannot speak English. #america

[Meg @Megry017]

@betsyblanche they better be designer

[Meg @Megry017]

If your mother's profile pics gets more likes than yours, is she hotter than you?

[Meg @Megry017]

Is carb loading a diet?

[Meg @Megry017]

My mother just looked at me in all seriousness and said "I'm going to chief a cig" ...

[Meg @Megry017]

I'm literally sitting next to a bag of testicles.

[Randi Lawson @RandiLawson]

For english press ONE. Para espanol el primo numero DOS. If you like totes can't even right now, obvs press THREE.

[Meg @Megry017]

I just had to explain to my parents what a mustache ride was soooooooo yeah

[Meg @Megry017]

@SamCosby we dated for a brief period on AIM. Does this look familiar: **<3 SC**

[Meg @Megry017]

"Fasting" is the biblical term for anorexia.

[Meg @Megry017]

@betsyblanche Hey. Imagine you're standing in a room of static noise for the rest of your life ... It's like that. You?

[Meg @Megry017]

@SamCosby and by caught I mean cut. Point proven.

[Meg @Megry017]

@SamCosby i would be caught off right now

[Meg @Megry017]

I would never be a valet based on the sole principle they run to get cars.

[Meg @Megry017]

Oh ya know, just pouring myself a large glass of cyanide to drink slowly while watching the VS fashion show. 💀

[Reverend Scott @Reverend_Scott]

Dating tips for guys:

- Two words, silk shirt.
- Belt AND suspenders.
- Don't overfill your fanny pack.
- Match your socks to your Crocs.

[___Surrendered Soul___ @__divine1__]

My gynocologist needs more windows in this van.

[Wolfe Van Mural @GuyThe_Guy]

If you can't take the heat get out of my Pontiac Sunfire.

No, you gotta roll the window down. The handle only works on the outside.