Wolfe Van Mural

My Gramma has that same Scarface t-shirt

[Wolfe Van Mural @GuyThe_Guy]

In MLK’s dream, what was the thermostat set to?

[Natalie Would @_NatalieWould]

2 wolves? In this economy?

[Wolfe Van Mural @GuyThe_Guy]

The ball dropped in New Zealand three weeks ago

[Wolfe Van Mural @GuyThe_Guy]

Girl, are you a Pop Tart? Cause I wanna eat you raw

[super sad bros dx @pedricko]

I can Phillip Collins in the air tonight, oh lord

[Sarah J. Hass @tacko_belle]

when I think about something right before sleep I like to say things like "nah I don't need to write it down, surely I will remember it in the morning"

[Wolfe Van Mural @GuyThe_Guy]

*looks intently for your reaction as you taste mac & cheese

“would you believe i made that in just my underwear?”

[Myrna Tellingheusen @PearlsFromMyrna]

Janet, cradling a cup of hot cocoa in a Panera will not get you discovered for the next Hallmark movie.

[Stu, For Real @StuForReal]

With a little modification you can convert your tens device into a field-expedient electroshock therapy machine

[Cat From Nowhere @kv8]

I thought the idea was to look less frightening with makeup on but maybe I'm wrong.

[Annie Hatfield @AnneHatfieldVO]

I get my pad thai at the food court.

[Natalie Would @_NatalieWould]

My welcome mat faces the wrong way so the world would seem more inviting

[JRGin @GinRumMe]

That dress looks like a hospital gown. Hope you’re happy.

[Wolfe Van Mural @GuyThe_Guy]

My dry erase calendar needs to be updated from February 2019

[𝑴𝒐 𝑴𝒐𝒉𝒍𝒆𝒓 @MoMohler]

I’m going to Ireland to eat at the original McDonald’s.

[Wolfe Van Mural @GuyThe_Guy]

*slips Pizza Hut hostess a five spot
“Have your best chef bake this ring into a supreme pan & seat us by the fire & bring the diet pepsi’s in 5 mins”

[Natalie Would @_NatalieWould]

He calls you doll face because you have dead eyes and you're his transitional object

[Wolfe Van Mural @GuyThe_Guy]

@WordMistressss 😂😂😂

[Wolfe Van Mural @GuyThe_Guy]

weird you don’t smell like a cat lady

[Wolfe Van Mural @GuyThe_Guy]

@WordMistressss 🤩🤩🤩

[Wolfe Van Mural @GuyThe_Guy]

I have an appointment tomorrow to get a tattoo of a pack of hot dogs on the back of my neck.

[Sarah J. Hass @tacko_belle]

when you’re in the McDonald’s drive-thru and you have to wait for a little bit while they get your order ready fresh is what I bet going to real restaurant feels like