Therapy session.
Journaling about envy today, and realizing "I’m fine" was never really true.
Writing down who I envy and why, felt heavier than I expected, maybe I’ve been ignoring it for too long.
ya ampun, Bas
u udh terkenal bgt ya skrg
mon maap bgt ini baru bisa perhatiin lagi
turut senang deh
tapi jadi mikir ini kalau ke konser u desak-desakannya kayak apa ya
itu temen-temen aja pada nyerah hadepin ramenya
I remembered the way you asked me on lunch time,
your eyes, your smile and your hand.
I wanted to say yes.
I didn’t,
already belonged
to a different promise.
I don't even like travelling but life keeps sending me away to make me sit with this betrayal and rejection, to keep me aware that I wasn't good enough compare to her.
Once, work sent me through the cities after your rejection.
Now, I survive –12°C, realizing you chose her who should have supported us, the one I once trusted.