caulchella

her ex boyfriends have called her "surprisingly well adjusted!" "lots of communication issues &doesn't take anything srsly!" "wont stop quoting step brothers!"

[kelli @LagunaBiotchIG]

I do wish I could’ve tried a quaalude

[Cowboy @COWBS]

Jimothy in his natural habitat doing flips

[Jamie Bonkiewicz @JamieBonkiewicz]

Someone said America has become a torture chamber for smart people, and I couldn't agree more.

[redheaded stranger @eyeswideslvt]

When you see how small he is next to his siblings 💔💔💔

[lesbian father figure 🌕🧜🏼‍♀️ @moonmerm4id]

annoying my friends by explicitly referring to agamemnon as the guy in the Schiaparelli helmet

[🎮 @foreeeeeal]

great time to get an english degree honestly nobody can read or write you might become scribe to the king in the next 15 years if you know cursive the way things are going

[caulchella @melissacaul]

I stop watch the Materialists when she stops dating Pedro pascal

[Daisy @DaizyZeeX]

Men and their noise pollution needs to be stopped. Stop revvving your engines, stop blasting your shit music, stop bringing stereos to public places. The reason women don’t do this is because we are considerate of other people in our community

[caitie delaney @caitiedelaney]

And did Nicole Kidman walk into this place for magic with her stupid husband and annoying children or was she there by herself

[s! @palearab]

ive felt like this for the past month

[Zach @jestermaxxing]

Imagine if instead of glory holes we had ‘story holes’. Holes you can put your ear to and hear a wonderful story.

[Charlie James @malecowgirl]

not sure if i had THE diarrhea or a separate, more niche diarrhea that only artists get

[Mayor Zohran Kwame Mamdani @NYCMayor]

This morning in Biddeford, Maine, a 26-year-old man said goodbye to his wife and daughter and left for work. Moments later he was dead, shot in the head by ICE agents, the second man ICE has killed in six days.

ICE is killing our neighbors. ICE cannot be reformed. Abolish ICE.

[alexSSN @alexSSN]

Hey man, that’s really awesome that you saved some of your 4th of July fireworks so you could set them off at noon on the 13th of July

[the giant @chaser_bait]

test your fucking poppers. fuck

[Grace @gracecamille_]

DIVA 💅 DOWN ⬇️ FLIMSY 🍜 LINDSAY 👵 Graham 👴 is on permanent 😭 RECESS 💀 today 📆 after taking 😳 a deep 😩 DICKING 🍆 💦 from 👏 a SEXY 🫦 ILLNESS ☣️ the senator 👴 from SOUTH ⬇️ CUNTOLINA 🇺🇸 💅 died 🪦 on FREE 💸 SLURPEE 🥤 DAY 📆 after a 👶 lifetime 👴 of SUCKING 🍆 😩 the life 💀 out of his 💅 CUNT 🍑 -STITUENTS 😏 While many 🙅‍♂️ will not 🚫 miss 🤷‍♂️ the notorious 💥 WAR 🔫 COCK 🍆 we must pour 🫗 one out 👉 for this 💃 SEXY 🫦 SLAYER 💀 down⬇️ south 🇺🇸 so send ✉️ ➡️ this to 🫵 your 🔟 most❗SEXUALLY 🍆 💦 AMBIGIOUS ⚧ CUNT🍑 -SERVE💅 -atives 💁‍♀️ if you 🫵 get 0️⃣ back 🍑 you’re 👎 a real 😩 LENINGRAD 🇷🇺 LINDSEY 👴 if you 🫵 get 5️⃣ back 🍑 you’re 😂 a certified ✅ GRAHAM 🍞 CRACKER 😳 and if 😩 you get 🔟 back 📩 you’re a 😳 FULL 🍆 🍑 BLOWN 🌬️ LADY

[the doogfather @thedoogfather]

what if you were a SENATOR and you were GAY but you were CLOSETED and another senator DIED but you were LYING about it and his WIFE was a SPY for CHINA and then you ALSO DIED

[microplastics nanobubbler @facetedcarapace]

Lindsey Graham knew that the surgery to remove ribs in order to suck your own dick had risks. He went forward with clear eyes and a full heart. He died on his own terms.

[Zachary @wolfsxblood24]

How the fuck did Quiznos collapse and Subway thrived?

[caulchella @melissacaul]

How do I get a job where I just tell people what to do. Like what they should be doing all the time. In every situation.