Mel Tab

[Mel Tab @meltab]

I just want to curl up with 1983 Chevy Chase and pretend that everything in the world is fine

[Mel Tab @meltab]

"The only way I want to listen to 'Blood in the Water' is if you're singing it for me."
- Katie

[Mel Tab @meltab]

"I want that backyard vibe."

"What? Those bricks? Those loose leaves?"

"Did you just read my tweet?"

"Yea! Like ten minutes ago."

[Mel Tab @meltab]

"I didn't say I think you look tired. I don't have a death wish."

[hj @astrangepoetry]

#severance the way irving said "jesus...christ?" here made me lose it btw

[Mel Tab @meltab]

“Washing your face is like diving into a pool…”

- my mom

#ThingsSueSays

[Mel Tab @meltab]

“That ‘woo’ from Jamie Curtis? That should be a gimph.”

- my mom (trying to say gif)

#ThingsSueSays

[Mel Tab @meltab]

🤥 https://t.co/7AtDCBZkzU

[Mel Tab @meltab]

🦈♥️

[Mel Tab @meltab]

[Scallops start wildly splattering on the pan. Sue immediately tell turns the heat down.]

Two minutes later:

“I panicked.” - my mom

#StuffSueSays

[Mel Tab @meltab]

[watching S11E1 of Curb Your Enthusiasm opening scene]

“I’m actually scared.”

- my mom

#SueWatches

[Mel Tab @meltab]

“I had a student tell me he thought I was 22 the other day. Though he also thought the 90s was the Great Depression”
- @sunkissed028

[Mel Tab @meltab]

I think I've got something here...
@succession @SchittsCreek ?

[Mel Tab @meltab]

Hey ⁦@NinjaKitchen⁩ your Ninja Foodi Power Blender that I purchased 8 months ago almost burnt down my kitchen this morning. Can someone contact me?

#Ninja #NinjaKitchen #NinjaKitchenCanada

[Bugs (like the bunny) 💗🖤💗 @bugsmaytrix]

this is such a wild decision by Netflix lmao like, they're aware of long distance relationships, kids in college, and poor people right?

[Mel Tab @meltab]

I mean no offense or disrespect… but don’t gift flowers to people with cats.

We don’t want em 😬

[Mel Tab @meltab]

@PhilipsNA Thanks for your quick reply! Do you have any other Wake-Up lights that can be controlled through a mobile app?

[Mel Tab @meltab]

Choose your January weather:

[Mel Tab @meltab]

I love how Apple literally rewards people with fireworks in iMessage for using the grammatically correct "Happy New Year" instead of "Happy New Years" 🎆

[Mel Tab @meltab]

“I think I’ll try straightening my hair. Maybe I should get a blob.”

- my mom

#StuffSueSays #lob

[Mel Tab @meltab]

9.5 out of 10 times I’d take -40 degrees over rain