Maria

I am your participation trophy •

[Maria @melted_witch]

closing tabs..

[Maria @melted_witch]

people kissing at stoplights - tell me everything!

[Maria @melted_witch]

looking for the relationship status bar on linkedin

[Maria @melted_witch]

This is funny.

[Maria @melted_witch]

@wrylyrogers @emily__tae You’re a menace

[Maria @melted_witch]

@wrylyrogers This was brave.

[Maria @melted_witch]

This is a new low.

[Maria @melted_witch]

@twofishmoon Name the price!

[Maria @melted_witch]

Auctioning off access to my notes app. Bidding starts at $50.

[Maria @melted_witch]

where the fast lazy rivers at

[Maria @melted_witch]

@notoriousPEY merges calls and doesn’t tell you - had to redownload twitter for this one.

[Maria @melted_witch]

@Top_Dog30 seven

[ben @chaoticcben]

Can’t wait to be the drunkest bitch at tomorrow’s function

[Maria @melted_witch]

Big gains in my SPF 50 this week

[Martin Herlihy @martinmherlihy]

Hey @netflix why did you do this to me???

[Maria @melted_witch]

Diet Coke mother, Sprite daughter

[Maria @melted_witch]

@yvngpeg Oh my GOD

[Jacob Kaplan @JacobKaplan17]

The 8 year-old kid in a movie about a single dad looking for love

[Maria @melted_witch]

Anyone else’s work group chat look like this

[Maria @melted_witch]

I’m an Alvin rising, Theodore moon