Meredith

✌🏻

[Laurie Kilmartin @anylaurie16]

COVID seems to be leaving atheists alone?

[Meredith @meradactyle]

@emrazz That guys voice may be why he’s never seen a female’s orgasm.

[Meredith @meradactyle]

@digitalslumlord Middle name Marie

[Meredith @meradactyle]

Is it still racist to buy tiki torches?

[Meredith @meradactyle]

Anyone else’s family just a buncha assholes?

[Meredith @meradactyle]

Why when checking out at Marshall’s you think you have so much good shit and then when you get home you don’t have so much good shit? What space wormhole did I drive in on the way home?

[Meredith @meradactyle]

The funniest fucking thing ever is when my new robot vacuum gets suck on a fucking carpet cliff

[Meredith @meradactyle]

@TheUSASingers They all smile the same! They just life their top lip!

[Meredith @meradactyle]

How do people read poetry?

[Meredith @meradactyle]

Me during my history class every chance I can get: “white people are garbage and literally everyday since humanity began can be used a source”

[Meredith @meradactyle]

This is 40(plastic surgeries later yet I’m passing it off as natural)!

[Meredith @meradactyle]

How do I tell my neighbor to get a fucking jacket for her tiny innocent fucking dog? If you need a jacket, the dog needs a jacket. Don’t be an asshole. How do I say that?

[Meredith @meradactyle]

@GillianA as Margaret Thatcher. Holy shit. She’s amazing and I swear to God if she doesn’t win awards, I’ll burn...something down!

[Meredith @meradactyle]

Why do girls named Mikayla always have vocal fry?

[Meredith @meradactyle]

People with white Apple Watch bands...what do you do for fun?

[Meredith @meradactyle]

Been there Prez. Elevate and ice.

[New York Post @nypost]

Joe Biden twists ankle while playing with his dog https://t.co/gmIp092aMk

[Meredith @meradactyle]

Found out tonight one of my favorite local bands from my high school dayz is on Spotify and making new tunes and I. AM. HERE. FOR. IT. #TheRingout

[Meredith @meradactyle]

Nobody names their kids Thurgood anymore.

[Zack Bornstein @ZackBornstein]

If Texas goes blue I will buy a horse

[Meredith @meradactyle]

Mainers bitch and moan about high taxes and low job markets but then vote for absolute assholes like Collins who pimps Maine out for profit. Doing the same thing over & over and expecting change is insanity.