I know this is probably just a me thing but i do think as a grown tax paying adult you have to start sightly distancing yourself from things made for children, or at least spaces surrounding them. they just straight up dont have their own spaces anymore
One day i'm gonna be married with a pretty ring on my finger and every night i'll get to sleep next to my husband and i'll be warm and happy. i can't wait ugh yes!
Saw a Craigslist ad that said: “Need three big Italian guys to attend a funeral. Dress sharp. Look connected.” No questions asked. Obviously, I applied.
Show up in a thrifted suit with two strangers who also answered. We shake hands and instantly agree our names are all Tony. For authenticity.
Inside, it’s dead silent—pun intended—and we walk in like a deleted scene from Goodfellas. We sit front row, arms folded, sunglasses on indoors. People start whispering. Priest looks like he wants to skip to the credits.
When it’s our turn to “pay respects,” one Tony leans in and goes, “You were like a father to all of us... in business and in life.” The other mutters, “The docks ain’t gonna be the same without ya.” I panic and kiss my fingers like I’m blessing the casket, whispering, “We’ll take care of the thing, boss. Don’t you worry.”
On the way out, some old guy grabs my hand, teary-eyed, and says, “He’d be proud.”
Craigslist had me role-playing The Godfather for $100 and a cannoli.
this girl brought the most beautiful collie into my work today and i was about to ask if i could pet her and the girl was like "she's weird, okay? she pets people. but you have to ask to be pet first." and i said "...may i be pet" and this dog just. rubbed her face on me
I want to radically change my life over the next 6 months. I want a new state of mind, a new style, different interests, an improved body, and better habits. I will be a new me, I can’t get the old me back, but I can be an evolved me.
This is how I’m moving through crowds because people are actually stupid asf now and have no spatial awareness and walk entirely too slow all of the time