Colt 🇨🇦

"...the Universe, expressing itself as a human for a little while." - Eckhart Tolle

[❤️Hush Jared🤙 @HushJared]

THE FLOOR IS LAVA

- Terribly uncommon
- Would cause instant death which might be okay
- A game for children

THE FLOOR IS WET & I’M WEARING SOCKS

- Terrible AND common
- Causes wet socks, a fate worse than death
- You think this is a fuckin’ game!?!

[Slim Shamelesss @SlimShamelesss]

Type your name or twitter name in the gif search then reply the 1st one that comes up

[Colt 🇨🇦 @MercyMenace]

@SlimShamelesss

[Calgary Flames @NHLFlames]

#Flames fans, hit that RT button for your chance to win an autographed retro Matthew Tkachuk jersey AND an autographed TJ Brodie stick, courtesy of @TheHearingLoss!

Don’t forget to #ProtectYourHearing!

[Colt 🇨🇦 @MercyMenace]

The Miraculous Super Fat Lady and her stolen jet #GrandTheftAutoV #XboxShare

[U.S. National Science Foundation @NSF]

@NatSolarObs @AURADC @NSF_MPS The NSF's Inouye Solar Telescope provides unprecedented close-ups of the sun’s surface, but ultimately it will measure the sun’s corona – no total solar eclipse required. 😎

More: https://t.co/UsOrXJHaY1

#SolarVision2020

[222 Minutes @222Minutes]

The left is bully culture.

You're a kid in school. There's a bully. He punches you on a regular basis. One day you punch him back. Now he just went and punched someone else.

According to leftist logic, it's your fault the other kid got punched.

#Trump
#WWIIl
#IranPlaneCrash

[Elon Musk @elonmusk]

Phony

[Colt 🇨🇦 @MercyMenace]

#InsteadOfMoneyPleaseSend our people home. 🇨🇦

[Colt 🇨🇦 @MercyMenace]

@nypost We will build a great, great wall on our planetary border, and we will make Jupiter pay for that wall. Mark my words.

[Colt 🇨🇦 @MercyMenace]

#CancelJupiter 😂

[New York Post @nypost]

New research finds Jupiter is flinging asteroids at Earth https://t.co/BKFns3XwUW

[Colt 🇨🇦 @MercyMenace]

It's officially 2020 in Saskatchewan!

Happy New Year, everyone!

[Pizza_Bard @MinisodaTim]

┏┓
┃┃╱╲ in this
┃╱╱╲╲ house
╱╱╭╮╲╲ we
▔▏┗┛▕▔ stand
╱▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔╲
On the fucking floor
╱╱┏┳┓╭╮┏┳┓ ╲╲
▔▏┗┻┛┃┃┗┻┛▕▔

[Colt 🇨🇦 @MercyMenace]

@PR_NHL @EdmontonOilers @cmcdavid97 I believe that season also came to a terrible end due to the actions of a man named Smith.

[Colt 🇨🇦 @MercyMenace]

@DLoesch I think we all know why the ones behind him look so nervous.

[VisuallyBetter @Isuckatpicking]

“Coach said to go to the net because that’s where goals happen. Did I score?”

Milan Lucic

[Colt 🇨🇦 @MercyMenace]

@Helpful_Comrade Perhaps the secret ingredient in Papa John's sauce is Tiger Blood.

[Colt 🇨🇦 @MercyMenace]

@DLoesch I can't wait to read his other columns: 'Nigerian Prince Screwed Me Royally', and 'These Faulty Penis Pills Were a Huge Flop'.

[Colt 🇨🇦 @MercyMenace]

Canadian ants be like:

[Bonk & Jerk @abnormable]

Listen up!! This is a fuck-up... uh- I mean, "stick up".
(it's a gawddamn tweet call, okay...)

Gimme YOUR friggin' tweets... Drop 'em below.

RT's all around...plus, bonus rewards for FUNNY!