Maynard

I hate small talk. I love small dogs.

[Maynard @Merpington]

If this year's #Puppybowl doesn't have a team named the Philadelphia Beagles, then what's the point of 2018?

[Maynard @Merpington]

@stop_jess You would know...

[Maynard @Merpington]

@_jalberts The only tip I got was "be as cheesy as you can be" but then again I got told most colleges don't even read them

[Maynard @Merpington]

@danwemet It's not much of a tail, but I'm sort of attached to it

[Maynard @Merpington]

I feel more like an Eeyore and less like a Tigger the more I grow up.

[Maynard @Merpington]

@stop_jess fuck, i chose the wrong moraine valley classes

[Maynard @Merpington]

@danwemet Listen man it's all fine and dandy until you take out a second loan for the 15th 1/60 Gundam ZERO kit

[Maynard @Merpington]

I like to measure my success by determining whether i can afford going to lifetime fitness yet

[Maynard @Merpington]

@stop_jess Agni Kai is no joke bruh

[Oscar the Grouch @OscarTheGrouch]

I love trash.

[ephant (same name at bsky) @ephant]

People say “well what did people do before vaccines/antibiotics/pasteurisation?” as if that’s an argument for going natural.

They died, Carol. A lot of people died.

[Jay @iPurrple]

ive watched this multiple times and the ending gets funnier

[Larry Legend @larryislegend]

This funniest shit I’ve seen all day g. He say this how Eminem raps.

[Maynard @Merpington]

Sometimes I think I'm cool, but not "kid who brought tech decks to school" cool

[Arin Hanson @egoraptor]

(During sex)

Me: hurt me

Her: *doesnt exist*

Me: wait

Pillow:

Me: stop

[Maynard @Merpington]

@MissGinaDarling This is my dog, Mocha. She's half Chihuahua and half doxen. She also often honks when she gets too excited.