Jon Merrill's Mustache

a sentient mustache

[Jon Merrill's Mustache @merrillmustache]

Leaf fans are preemptively blaming Gavin McKenna for their elimination in the first round of the 2027 playoffs #nhldraft

[Jon Merrill's Mustache @merrillmustache]

This opening is the second worst thing the @GoldenKnights have done this season #stanleycup

[Jon Merrill's Mustache @merrillmustache]

So we’re just kinda doing whatever we want now. No rules #WrestleMania

[Jon Merrill's Mustache @merrillmustache]

Almost missed this match because my wife gave birth to my son as Roman started his entrance. His entrance ended by the time I was dropping my son off at his first day of kindergarten. Just got back from bringing him to college by the time the first punch was thrown #WrestleMania

[Jon Merrill's Mustache @merrillmustache]

Awful lot of talk about Dominic Mysterio cum #wrestlemania

[Jon Merrill's Mustache @merrillmustache]

That’s got to be a real kick in the dick to Larkin #lgrw

[Detroit Red Wings @DetroitRedWings]

With his 80th point of the season last night, Alex DeBrincat became the first U.S.-born player in franchise history to record an 80-point season.

[Jon Merrill's Mustache @merrillmustache]

I would say “when can the red wings stop sucking ass?” but that would be rude to people that suck ass #lgrw

[Jon Merrill's Mustache @merrillmustache]

Hearing reports Todd McLellan is planning on bringing a gun on the bench tonight and executing the first player he deems to not be putting in enough effort. #lgrw

[Jon Merrill's Mustache @merrillmustache]

A simple “move Kairi” would have gone a long way there Iyo #wweraw

[Jon Merrill's Mustache @merrillmustache]

Thank god they had a 45 minute commercial break before this so they could cut off the best song speech #oscars

[Jon Merrill's Mustache @merrillmustache]

So instead of turning Cody heel, we have Randy turn and the crowd still kind of cheer for him because WWE completely misread the room? Also, if you get kicked in the balls this many times, it’s kinda on you, Cody #smackdown

[Jon Merrill's Mustache @merrillmustache]

That Jade Cargill/Rhea Ripley exchange is the worst thing I’ve seen in a while. Also, for the record, Rhea appears to have bigger muscles than Jade currently #SmackDown

[Jon Merrill's Mustache @merrillmustache]

Watching the replay of #SmackDown and 3 things
1. I love this version of Nia Jax.
2. I wish Lash Legend didn’t have such a stupid fucking name.

[Jon Merrill's Mustache @merrillmustache]

The Leafs have the 1st round. The Red Wings have the entire month of March. We all have our faults. #LGRW

[Jon Merrill's Mustache @merrillmustache]

So what’s the rule for undoing trades? Because the wings are fucked if Larkin is hurt #LGRW

[Jon Merrill's Mustache @merrillmustache]

I am very proud of this

[Jon Merrill's Mustache @merrillmustache]

Being a red wings fan at the trade deadline is like being excited for Christmas and every year you find out not only is Santa not real, your parents hate you #LGRW

[Jon Merrill's Mustache @merrillmustache]

Not my baby giraffe learning to walk

[Detroit Red Wings @DetroitRedWings]

UPDATE: The #RedWings have acquired San Jose’s 2026 3rd round pick from the Pittsburgh Penguins in exchange for Elmer Soderblom.

[Jon Merrill's Mustache @merrillmustache]

Just more sloppy NHL reporting from @espn

Heiskanen and Harley are both left handed, so they have no bearing on where right handed Myers plays in the line up. Maybe if you had reporters who knew fuck all about hockey or did minimal research, you wouldn’t make these mistakes.

[Jon Merrill's Mustache @merrillmustache]

You all know she knows Jacob Fatu, right? Like, I wouldn’t be mean to her