Emily M-M 🕵🏻‍♀️

no one is safe from my advice

[Emily M-M 🕵🏻‍♀️ @metalgf]

Love when a jaded JAP says to her generic boyfriend as she heads to work, “love you bye” in a dead voiced Long Island accent

[Emily M-M 🕵🏻‍♀️ @metalgf]

@AlisonLeiby You were so funny in Kingston last night and I loved this joke!!!

[Emily M-M 🕵🏻‍♀️ @metalgf]

@laylology Opposite if you’re a parent

[Emily M-M 🕵🏻‍♀️ @metalgf]

Kind of rude when people are in Europe on boats??

[Emily M-M 🕵🏻‍♀️ @metalgf]

@frynaomifry Heard Kim was mvp

[Emily M-M 🕵🏻‍♀️ @metalgf]

Every Jewish fam on my timeline shipping those kids off to camp!!

[Emily M-M 🕵🏻‍♀️ @metalgf]

One thing I really respect about my husband is that he never wears sandals

[Emily M-M 🕵🏻‍♀️ @metalgf]

Celebrating the summer solstice by starting the ultimatum: queer love

[Emily M-M 🕵🏻‍♀️ @metalgf]

@WelgianBaffles It’s an lol festival

[Paul Rieckhoff🇺🇸🇺🇦 @PaulRieckhoff]

The amazing little public elementary school in #Phoenicia my son went to for Kindergarten is being shut down. And they want to close Woodstock elementary next. Local families are understandably outraged. This board only has 1 member w elementary age kids. https://t.co/TmBEsVOf6n

[Emily M-M 🕵🏻‍♀️ @metalgf]

“Olaf is Jewish like us” —me watching frozen

[Emily M-M 🕵🏻‍♀️ @metalgf]

Where do we put things we want to tweet now

[Emily M-M 🕵🏻‍♀️ @metalgf]

@Mr_Max_Geller Enjoyed it!!

[Emily M-M 🕵🏻‍♀️ @metalgf]

The seltzer in nyc is amazing

[Emily M-M 🕵🏻‍♀️ @metalgf]

Real stoners forget it’s 4/20 like I did today

[Emily M-M 🕵🏻‍♀️ @metalgf]

@ruthiemarantz Why is this happening

[Emily M-M 🕵🏻‍♀️ @metalgf]

@ruthiemarantz I love how he’s dressed for safari

[Emily M-M 🕵🏻‍♀️ @metalgf]

Imagine celebrating Easter!!

[Emily M-M 🕵🏻‍♀️ @metalgf]

You know when you’re trying to fall asleep and you’re like what do I usually do with my arms?

[who cares @DianaG2772]

What’s the opposite of a stork?