it’s not as simple as “if you do for me then i’ll do for you”. wanting reciprocity or someone to hold their weight in a relationship, doesn’t make you selfish — it makes you smart. you’re aware that expending your energy & receiving absolutely nothing back, naturally drains you.
Forgiving those who have wronged you is a really cool ability but not when it comes in the form of self-denial. If you are rushing and forcing yourself to “forgive” because you are unable to regulate yourself through hurt feelings — that’s not genuine forgiveness, it’s avoidance.