mia pinchoff

i like circus peanuts don’t @ me! comedian | host | @screencrafting semi-finalist

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#WhenIWas12IThought very little 🙌

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@DizzelW woof. double whammy 😳

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i think i got baby poopie in my mother freakin EYE?!! WHAT DO I DO!?????

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@fileerror404 🤣🤣🤣

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i guess i’m on threads now. i be threadin! slide into my threads BABYYYY.

i’ll probably post hilarious stuff there one day when i’m awake. so you should definitely follow me just in case.

i miss twitter. and my YOUTH. k, time to pump 🍼🐮
https://t.co/puNB86sris

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“omg don’t worry you’ll lose the baby weight in no time. breastfeeding burns like an extra 300 calories per day!!!”

dude. that’s like uh bite of pizza… i just ate a pie

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@NotTonkaToy_1 😹😹😹

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in 6 months i went from sanitizing the shit out of everything my baby puts in his mouth to accidentally passing him a cat toy to suck on 🫠

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please stop setting off your janky ass fireworks - it’s July 1st you losers!!! chill out with your backyard kabooms we know your pee pee is tinyyyy

also, my BABY IS ASLEEP.

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@DonGetschman 😂😂😂😂

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husband is not a fan of my postpartum shower art 😒

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every time i think i’m having a moderately okay moment i realize i forgot to turn on the baby monitor 🫣

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@Five8wilson what-?? i’m an artist 🙄

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the best age to travel with kids:

literally never

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when my baby drinks from my tittie while simultaneously pooping himself it’s like his body becomes a weird straw that turns milk into shit 🤗

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@Jennyablue yay!!! that makes me happy! this baby is killin me… starting to feel somewhat human again 👹

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my list of worries

keeping my 5 month old alive
britney spears
paying bills

in that order.

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lost the super bowl and a sock 😑

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NO SCREEN TIME!!!

unless it’s Rihanna, duh 🙄

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i’m happy my husband’s happy cuz he’s an @Eagles fan… but this is my super bowl babyyyyy 🤘🎈

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is spoiled milk the new baby smell everyone raves about…??? i gotta get me some fine wine to go with this pungent little fromage 🤱🏻