michael

i like hats cuz i’m bald

[michael @michaeloooooooo]

me coming back to twitter

[🏛 𝐒𝐭𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐧 🏛 @nonregemesse]

Rachel Sennott looks like Mussolini

[dasha @dash_eats]

10 am wake up screaming
10am - 2pm stoically contemplate suicide
3 - 6pm “research”
7pm radish omelette dinner
8pm - 1am online chess
2am - racist chat room
3 am - breast milk ice cream
4 am - waterboard my husband
5 am - wind down with some more internet chess

[michael @michaeloooooooo]

I’ve lost 80 pounds since this naturally without the jap or a crippling drug addiction

[michael @michaeloooooooo]

hopefully my new psychiatrist gives me ozempic

[MAXWELL @Maxochism]

Mind you I haven’t seen a raccoon in weeks.

[michael @michaeloooooooo]

@kylesockwell @packswimdive @USASwimming crazy from seeing her at little YMCA meets in PA now CRUSHING it on the international stage congrats leah!!!!

[brandon* @brndxix]

i’d rather go to heII than a jelly roll concert

[Anna Khachiyan @annakhachiyan]

Thought this was a gay guy posing with his new surrogate baby

[michael @michaeloooooooo]

@trixiemattel i was correct

[michael @michaeloooooooo]

@trixiemattel are we doing the martha stewart vodka bottle with ice and flowers

[michael @michaeloooooooo]

@talleyberrybaby why does she look 55 lol

[michael @michaeloooooooo]

@sydleav yes

[Simney @SimneySpears]

dina caliente raiding bella's closet after she marries mortimer:

[michael @michaeloooooooo]

i did for 6 months straight one time

[mommy jihyo @mommy_jihyo]

@clintoris the week where my room got too dirty and it was stressing me out so i just started sleeping in my living room

[dasha @dash_eats]

Fluorescent lights are psychological torture, many do not realize…in Europe they seem to not even care at all, for me this would be the only cause that means anything at all, the right to warmth and light is fundamental and humane

[Blizzy @blizzy_mcguire]

use that credit card girl we wont be here long

[Saint Hoax @SaintHoax]

melania when she saw him approaching