Michael Massey

Truth Filled Tension Breaking Creative Psalmist

[Michael Massey @michaelrmassey]

@StoneMountain64 @adhdonnie let’s get this free stuff (bread).

[Michael Massey @michaelrmassey]

Where two or more are gathered, there is access to the HOV lane. Trafficains I-10

[Michael Massey @michaelrmassey]

The amount of people who misspell “whoa” is like….whoa.

[Michael Massey @michaelrmassey]

My eyes when looking at my phone: a decade slumber won’t satiate my thirst for respite.
My eyes when closed immediately after: Hark! Your energy is immeasurable. Awaken to consume the fruits of the universe.

[Michael Massey @michaelrmassey]

Everything happens for a reason, until something happens that I don’t agree with or like. Then it’s the devil, or God is mad at me, a planet’s positioning is off, or some other karma-related thing.

[Michael Massey @michaelrmassey]

My favorite article I’ve written for @HotcarsOfficial to date. There’s even a Jurassic Park reference. https://t.co/L10LuRnDux

[Michael Massey @michaelrmassey]

I don’t want to be controversial here but pesto on an egg sandwich made with sourdough slaps.

[Michael Massey @michaelrmassey]

First time trying @UberEats as a driver tonight. I delivered two large drinks to a person and politely said “have a great night.” *silence* [turns and walks away]. My tip was a hefty dose of introversion.

[Michael Massey @michaelrmassey]

Going on vacation with my best friend in the entire world and i think maybe I’m more excited than him.

[Michael Massey @michaelrmassey]

#bachelorinparadiseabc #bachelorinparadise Natasha: yeah, so Brendan was pretty awful to me. Did you know he was dating Pieper? Dr. Joe:

[Michael Massey @michaelrmassey]

#bachelorinparadiseabc #bachelorinparadise Tia: if it doesn’t make your vagina dance… James:

[Michael Massey @michaelrmassey]

Annnnd the nation rejoiced! #bachelorinparadiseabc #bachelorinparadise #westandwithnatasha

[Michael Massey @michaelrmassey]

Tammy: my last birthday I got a virus that has killed people all over the world. This birthday Thomas was honest with me and that’s 10 times worse. #bachelorinparadiseabc #bachelorinparadise #tonedeaf

[Michael Massey @michaelrmassey]

Tammy: What do I have to do? Thomas: Be Becca. #bachelorinparadiseabc #bachelorinparadise

[Michael Massey @michaelrmassey]

@iamjeffrojas Oh no…

[Michael Massey @michaelrmassey]

A couple on a tandem bike is the real-world equivalent of a joint Facebook.

[Michael Massey @michaelrmassey]

#bachelorinparadiseabc #bachelorinparadise Riley and Maurissa on tonight’s episode.

[Michael Massey @michaelrmassey]

#bachelorinparadiseabc #bachelorinparadise Pieper: I have a master’s in marketing, I can figure out how to get a few more followers. Everyone watching:

[Mike Magrath @Mike_Magrath]

Random woman approaches me in busy outdoor shopping center: "hi, sorry, but do you know anything about identifying cars?"

Internal monologue: ITS HAPPENING ITS FINALLY HAPPENING!

(we successfully id'ed her Uber driver's CR-V)

[Michael Massey @michaelrmassey]

#bachelorinparadiseabc #bachelorinparadise Brendan and Pieper when Riley was yelling at Chris and flexing his gigantic arms: