michelle

Been there, Done that.

[michelle @michellecalus]

Fish Rapunzel stuck in her Ahi Tuna Tower

[Rolling Loud @RollingLoud]

rest in peace my granny she got hit by a bazooka 😥

[Kevin Durant @KDTrey5]

Goodbye Sooners. Ayo what is a sooner?

[Cher @cher]

Sorry Been MIA,
What IS My Problem

[michelle @michellecalus]

@ilovehorsess44 Aye true

[(doctor) Alex Grease @dodgonkulator]

(at subway)

my wife: can i get a 6" hot italian

me: yeah you sure can 😏 (unzipping pants)

my small sexy friend Enzo who was hiding in my pants: 🙋‍♂️

my wife: Ciao Enzo !

subway worker: 😒and do you want that toasted

Enzo: Ah of course! (holding up thimble of wine) Abbondanza

[George 1_hammer @gechammer]

LMK when they come out with gyroscopic cyborg legs I wanna jump onto really tall shit and calmly run places I wanna go

[Young Thug ひ @youngthug]

I smell so good..

[Pugmane🐾 🐛 🥫 @pugmane]

David lynch on guitar, Jimmy Carter on drums, and Tik Tok on vocals…heaven just got one hell of a band.

[michelle @michellecalus]

Goodbye Jimmy Carter

[Young Thug ひ @youngthug]

She so mad, I said merry Christmas and she said thank u 💀

[Thomas White @len0killer]

Republicans: We need another civil war right now.

Democrats: Girl you gotta VOTE for it then💛💙

Nelly if he was a bullfrog: If you wanna come and eat a fly with me, swim around in the pond when we’re frisky, oh why do I love this lake (Hey! Bugs in my tummy!)

[michelle @michellecalus]

@bonercitylimits Im back try again conservatives

[michelle @michellecalus]

Soooo scared of quicksand lately 😬

[michelle @michellecalus]

@Drake Im soo drunk rn come over

[michelle @michellecalus]

@maddy93895809 Ok coming

[michelle @michellecalus]

@maddy93895809 Don't worry. I didn't.

[michelle @michellecalus]

@abbyisawesome69 I've been doing a lot of thinking lately.

[michelle @michellecalus]

The idiot store called. They said it was a wrong number and they're really not that good with phones. And also they want their uniform back😂😂

[michelle @michellecalus]

Whatchyall Know Boutthat??