Michelle

i’m so [nsfw]

[Michelle @michmelty]

https://t.co/SlbZ1YGteR

[Michelle @michmelty]

Still mad about people saying apr-I-ciate instead of apr-E-ciate.

[The Redistrict Network @RedistrictNet]

Them: Don't talk about gerrymandering during Thanksgiving

Me:

[Not Today Eric @NotTodayEric]

Let’s just speak in gifs for the rest of our lives.

[Michelle @michmelty]

Apparently I did not invent Mexican Fried Rice.

[Michelle @michmelty]

Wink at myself in the mirror

[Reese @Reeseforsure]

You get on the elevator with the most beautiful woman in the world…

What do you do?

[Michelle @michmelty]

Gonna start referring to everything as dank from now on.

[Michelle @michmelty]

Sex is great but have you ever heard Eddie Murphy say fart?

[hydrobae @springwatrpapi]

Me and the homies listening to that new Andre 3000

[Michelle @michmelty]

How can I hate to clean as much as I hate having a dirty house?

[garbage girl @ratedmeh]

Why is there unsalted butter??

[Michelle @michmelty]

Me leaving the house because I’m hungry: Bye, fruit. Sorry.

[Michelle @michmelty]

Carter

[Massimo @Rainmaker1973]

Causal understanding of water displacement by a crow
https://t.co/H4s8SO2NeV

[Kevín @KevOnStage]

Jelly Roll got up on that stage and PREACHED so I had to put some organ behind him.

[Bob Golen @BobGolen]

I'm retired. I was tired yesterday and I'm tired again today.

[Michelle @michmelty]

I’d like to swap out my brain for some cheese fries, please.