miranda

barista, chef, ex horse girl, mother of four

[miranda @miirandaengland]

cant wait to get plastered tonight so i can tweet with confidence

[miranda @miirandaengland]

@abbiemengland finally someone said it

[miranda @miirandaengland]

i didn’t just fall off turnip truck

[miranda @miirandaengland]

the bible is literally smut

[miranda @miirandaengland]

i believe in chemistry the same way i believe in unicorns

[miranda @miirandaengland]

im so imponderable

[Alex @AlexShaneMoore]

My friends are worried about me (told them I’m going to get back into standup)

[miranda @miirandaengland]

i would say with confidence that i am an acquired taste

[miranda @miirandaengland]

cats age like fine wine, while dogs just become unlovable when they’re old

[miranda @miirandaengland]

joking about DUI’s should be apart of car commercials

[miranda @miirandaengland]

got so high that i started agreeing with capitalism

[miranda @miirandaengland]

@concretecowboyy im guilty

[miranda @miirandaengland]

@concretecowboyy this is so iconic

[miranda @miirandaengland]

@concretecowboyy do it so we can go together

[miranda @miirandaengland]

redneck holiday

[miranda @miirandaengland]

@concretecowboyy EMMA NO DONT NO ILL BE SK SAD

[miranda @miirandaengland]

@concretecowboyy i’ll cut them for u

[miranda @miirandaengland]

they should make midsommar into a live musical

[miranda @miirandaengland]

@concretecowboyy this is true

[miranda @miirandaengland]

@concretecowboyy yes so we can skate together like cool girls

[miranda @miirandaengland]

my life is a madlib