Mike Gitonga🇰🇪

Mike x The World

[Bro From Siaya @_Sakko]

Eastleigh will teach you how to be humble and that you have nothing buana ..unafika pale 4th street unapatana na hanifa binti ako 17 years old na bro wake Abdi mwenye ako 16 wote wana own iPhone 17 pro max tatu tatu each juu walikuwa wanataka colors zote na juu baba ako na pesa kama njugu ana nunua mpya mpya ,Saa hiyo wanacheza bano hapo njee ya duka ya mama yao ya kushona curtains ,duka ata hainanga customers lakini imejaa proper na materials za kutoka italy ama tokyo japan ama turkey ..mama kazi ni kujiangalia kwa kioo nankujipodoa ..akiamka kimebeba proper na ni mrembo kuliko your dream wife ..Hiyo 20 floors plot ni yao,na pia the other 23 floor apartment next bado ni yao na hapo nje Kuna TOYOTA LAND CRUISER 300 GR SPORT black in color mpya ya kuwarudisha Muthaiga jioni after wao na mama yao wamesumbua maskini hohe hahe na pressure . Buana sit down be humble .

[saila @sailaunderscore]

How your wife (you’re faithfully married) looks at you after decades of being married (in a church) and having multiple beautiful children together (you love each other deeply). Neither of you are cheating by the way (you are married, to each other).

[Camus @newstart_2024]

Jimmy Carr nails brutal parenting truth in 25 seconds:

"I want to be kind to my kids... but what they want is McDonald's, ice cream, TV, video games.
Downstream? Fat, stupid kids.
Who wants fat, stupid kids? No one.

So you have to be kind to their potential — not their immediate wants.
That means broccoli, homework, walks, exercise.
Boring now.
Kind later."

Short-term pleasure vs. long-term character.
The hardest "no" is often the deepest love.

Where do you draw the line between being "fun" and being truly kind to your kids' future selves?

[Nelson Amenya @amenya_nelson]

What a time to be alive!

[Wes Fulton @CoolBreezeFL]

@NoahRevoy Female sexual fantasies: "I am so beautiful that powerful men want to dominate me."

Male sexual fantasies: "I am so powerful that beautiful women want me to dominate them."

[Crazy Kennar @crazy_kennar]

ARRESTS IN OTHER COUNTRIES VS BACK HOME😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

[6ɪx✦ @6ixxtar]

im either at work, going to work, coming from work, getting ready for work, getting some sleep for work, or thinking about not wanting to go to work.

[S I M P H I W E Y I N K O S I @oohsimmy]

Jobs are stressful. So is unemployment. Not finding a partner is stressful. So is having one. Working in an office is stressful. So is working with your hands. Having 50 clients is stressful. So is having none. Life is full of trade-offs. Don’t romanticise options you don’t know.

[Big Boss V 💰 @BigBossVette]

They said when black people be on time it means they not staying long 😭😭😭😭

[Goldie @dezgoldie]

A sign of good health is immediately refusing every negative thought the minute it enters your mind. Dead on arrival. Ruthlessly pulverizing it and replacing it with thoughts of imminent success and glory. Guarding your own mind like a marine sniper.

[Leo | Phalanx Labs @SpartanPsyche]

The brain cannot grasp eternity; “never again” creates panic, but “not today” gives the nervous system space to act. Dopamine understands only the present, so win the day in front of you, then win the next, until the wins stack so high they become your identity.

[⟢ ⟣ @vamptact]

niggas love 2016 more then they family

[Retro Anime @retro_anime]

Nike "Chamber Of Fear" commercial (2004)

[Billy @tweetsbybilly]

Here we go.
These is what you need to do before heading to Sheria House for a marriage permit. Please note this is for a Christian wedding in Nairobi, but the rules don't change much for other types of marriage.

[Hazel Kaizoku @meister_kwame]

Cigarette smoker : yeah I know it’s not good for my lungs

Alcoholic: yeah I know it’s not good for my liver

Weed addict : here’s an article showing how weed elevated brain activity in orangutans

[ICHIKA @ICHIKArlfjq]

Every family's useless conversation after funeral, "guys we have to arrange a reunion and stop meeting at funerals only."

[Leo | Phalanx Labs @SpartanPsyche]

Neuroplasticity works faster under high emotional intensity. If you can resist a craving when it’s at its peak, you get a bigger rewiring effect. This is why the hardest moments matter most, they’re not setbacks, they’re high-voltage opportunities to change.

[Super Coochie Scouter @TheCoochScouter]

Taking off work for your birthday.

[THE DUKE OF ISIOLO (KHK) @Happy_kulayo]

Every time you are afraid. Every time you are nervous. Every time you have knots in your stomach. Remember, Allah is with you.