captinbutternubs

can I have uhh one sad cum bb

[captinbutternubs @mikeyflops]

How my nuts be walking out yo bitch house

[captinbutternubs @mikeyflops]

guy who has had 120mg pseudoephedrine in the past 8 hrs: Man why is it that when I get sick I have the motivation to clean my room

[liam @DrDomodoPhD]

the greatest thing you’ll ever do is live another day

[captinbutternubs @mikeyflops]

for most, food and poop are two sides of the same coin

[Uncle Female @unclefemme]

i feel like a white dog with shit in its eyes

[captinbutternubs @mikeyflops]

you can't live with your parents in your twenties because as soon as you move back in ur sixteen again

[captinbutternubs @mikeyflops]

I have tall people music taste

[captinbutternubs @mikeyflops]

What Do Parents Eat

[captinbutternubs @mikeyflops]

@jackskokos 👀

[captinbutternubs @mikeyflops]

Gardiner had a revelation

[captinbutternubs @mikeyflops]

imagine dragons crawled so sleep token could clamber

[captinbutternubs @mikeyflops]

@jackskokos calories don't count if you liquid shit them all out

[captinbutternubs @mikeyflops]

in another life we could have been friends. such a cruel fate to have met on i-25

[captinbutternubs @mikeyflops]

I'm eating cheese on the couch. living my dog's dream lol

[captinbutternubs @mikeyflops]

I get 5-10 grams of protein everyday

[captinbutternubs @mikeyflops]

IM COOL
IM DOPE
IM AVANT GARDE

[captinbutternubs @mikeyflops]

"I feel" statements are effective because one you say that phrase out loud you realize how ridiculous you're being

[captinbutternubs @mikeyflops]

has an inconsequential character named Mikey

[captinbutternubs @mikeyflops]

THE NEW ALEAYS SUNNY EPISODE ABOUT THE STAGES OF GRIEF

[captinbutternubs @mikeyflops]

Mac: Denial
Dennis: Anger
Frank: Bargaining
Dee: Depression
Charlie: Acceptance