Miki Elliott

Curiously the only thing that went through the mind of the bowl of petunias, as it fell, was, 'Oh no, not again.'

[Miki Elliott @mikithompson]

My 4yo daughter Monday night:

4yo: Pat doesn’t look right.
Me: Because it’s Ryan seacrest.

[Miki Elliott @mikithompson]

Convo with my husband:
Me: Have you chosen a therapist yet?
H: Yeah I like 😀, you should go see her too.
Me: Um no we can’t go to the same therapist, because they will like you better. I don’t need that in the back of my head during therapy.
H: Fair enough.

[Miki Elliott @mikithompson]

@Virginia_Brasch My husband is a firefighter and had a bad PTSD episode following fireworks in our neighborhood after he was asleep. It’s 2 days later and he is still recovering from this setback. It breaks my heart.

[Miki Elliott @mikithompson]

@LianaRHAP @AMikeBloomType Liz and Moriah have to be iHop and Waffle House

[Miki Elliott @mikithompson]

Watching the TMNT with our 4 year old daughter… and she randomly says:

4yo: Guess what. Girls can marry girls and boys can marry boys.

Hubs: We get it, Megan Fox is hot.

[Miki Elliott @mikithompson]

Ordering at a restaurant:
3yo: I’ll have the chicken timbers
Waitress: chicken timbers are an excellent choice.

Me: here are all the tips.

[Miki Elliott @mikithompson]

@lolennui So would that be a whore-thopedic shoe?

[Miki Elliott @mikithompson]

@fessyfitness Not gonna lie…. I read this as hula hooping and that sounds more fun than 🏀

[Miki Elliott @mikithompson]

I’m about to cut all my hair off and donate it. I told my hubs I was going to get the “Let me speak to the manager” cut, but he said I have “You spilled hot soup on me, but let me apologize to you” energy.

[Miki Elliott @mikithompson]

@SHOTOFYAGER My friend PETA always feels like she’s being yelled at.

[Miki Elliott @mikithompson]

@nbcthegoodplace Do you have a moment to eat my farts?

[Miki Elliott @mikithompson]

I’m almost ashamed of this.... but I’m at level 3700 😂🤓🤷‍♀️ Of course I’ve been playing since 2015 @susie_meister @braincandypod #bestfiends

[Miki Elliott @mikithompson]

@RoxanaDaneshjou @MonicaLewinsky My Grandma kept poker chips in hers! They taught all the grandkids math by playing poker.

[Miki Elliott @mikithompson]

I have two basic rules in life: 1. Be kind. 2. Sit down in the canoe (ie follow safety rules). I feel like everyone just followed these two rules, this year would look a lot different.

[Miki Elliott @mikithompson]

@roundhoward Sandra is the queen of mat talk #cheer

[Miki Elliott @mikithompson]

Until today, my husband thought The Partridge Family was Amish. When the power would go out, he would say “What are we, the Partridge Family?” And always wondered why no one laughed at his joke.

[Miki Elliott @mikithompson]

@dog_rates This is Maisy Lou. She’s a very good girl.

[Miki Elliott @mikithompson]

@robinskyleigh Elliott 2020: Sorry I’m the worst.

[Miki Elliott @mikithompson]

We enlisted our dogs skills to predict our unborn tiny humans gender. One puppy. Two bowls. What will she choose? #puppypredictor @FallonTonight @jimmyfallon https://t.co/rXXnRQAWiW

[Miki Elliott @mikithompson]

I was born 10 days late and now I’m perpetually early to everything. #overthinkingsince1985