Endearingly Insufferable and 3 others

29, incredibly annoying. Thank you.

[Endearingly Insufferable and 3 others @Mildly_Unhinged]

The same way that there are things your laptop won’t do unless it’s plugged in, you should be able to unlock special body functions if you hook yourself up to enough water. Like a button that just power-washes your entire digestive system

[Endearingly Insufferable and 3 others @Mildly_Unhinged]

I made some very lovely friends I’ve been hanging out with for weeks, but they are more alcoholic than I am, which is definitely taking some effort and adjustment

[Endearingly Insufferable and 3 others @Mildly_Unhinged]

god invented pissing so she could PUNISh really cool drunk people trying to go to bed like me

[Endearingly Insufferable and 3 others @Mildly_Unhinged]

just realized that a bagel with cream cheese kind of has the same base ingredients as cereal and milk…

[Endearingly Insufferable and 3 others @Mildly_Unhinged]

when I was a child, my dentist knew I liked math so he gave me a book about Fermat's Last Theorem, which looking back was kind of odd, but I did enjoy the book

[tomie @tomieinlove]

(Time traveler): We finally proved there's no a^n + b^n = c^n for n > 2. You'll be amazed how—

(Fermat): I did it myself!

(Time traveler): Well, no—

(Fermat): With elliptic curves and modular forms.

(Time traveler): ...

(Fermat): But of course, it didn't fit in the margin!

[Endearingly Insufferable and 3 others @Mildly_Unhinged]

getting old enough that the people on Instagram are celebrating mother’s day as mothers, ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

[Endearingly Insufferable and 3 others @Mildly_Unhinged]

asking my acquaintances if they would still feel largely neutral about me if I were a worm

[microplastics rectifier @facetedcarapace]

gambling is such a dumb boring guy vice. get a drug problem or have an affair, you losers

[Adam Sharp @AdamCSharp]

CHILD PRAYING MANTIS: Dad, who are we all praying to exactly?
DAD PRAYING MANTIS: Depends which religion you belong to
CHILD: So not all bugs follow the same religion?
DAD: No, son… we’re in sects

[Endearingly Insufferable and 3 others @Mildly_Unhinged]

tried to grab breakfast from a new bakery that just opened today but they sold out right before I got there, so I went to another local spot and there was a line way out the door. God really just doesn’t want me to have a nice pastry today :(

[Endearingly Insufferable and 3 others @Mildly_Unhinged]

tinnitus is such a beautiful name for a baby girl

[Endearingly Insufferable and 3 others @Mildly_Unhinged]

I bet for those first few minutes, it’s sooooo fun to be a bird trapped in an airport

[Endearingly Insufferable and 3 others @Mildly_Unhinged]

decided to get some laser hair removal done on my neck , and my review so far is: Owie! Ow :(

[Endearingly Insufferable and 3 others @Mildly_Unhinged]

favorite local coffee shop now staying open later on weekends and turning into a BYOB coffee bar vibe, I used to pray for times like this

[Endearingly Insufferable and 3 others @Mildly_Unhinged]

any time I get sick enough I end up with an awful sinus infection that lasts like two weeks, and I want to punch the version of myself that did not get my deviated septum fixed back when I had tech health insurance,this shit SUCKS

[Endearingly Insufferable and 3 others @Mildly_Unhinged]

took care of some longstanding household tasks I've been putting off for over a year, really incredible what I can do when I'm procrastinating on my writing

[Endearingly Insufferable and 3 others @Mildly_Unhinged]

telling your friends to eat more fiber, call than a bran ambassador

[Endearingly Insufferable and 3 others @Mildly_Unhinged]

if popeye had a son do you think he would eat baby spinach

[Endearingly Insufferable and 3 others @Mildly_Unhinged]

February was created by Big Subscription and Big Rent to get away with charging you a full month's fee while only giving 28 days of service...

[Endearingly Insufferable and 3 others @Mildly_Unhinged]

me n who

[ugly fugly @lilemzivert]

texting the stupid man for some stupid