Miles Crosman

a writer / performer who throws space parties.

[Miles Crosman @MilesCrosman]

I would really appreciate a DJ courteous enough to tell me when I can put my hands back down.

[Miles Crosman @MilesCrosman]

Just had to throw away a very nice water bottle at the airport bc it had WATER in it. The TSA are a hazard to society.

[Miles Crosman @MilesCrosman]

CORRECTION: Friends and Seinfeld are not excruciatingly WHITE. They are actually made by JEWISH people. Now cut it out and please enjoy 2 of the best sitcoms ever. 😊

[Alexandria McCale @alimccale]

Laziness walks in my family.

[Miles Crosman @MilesCrosman]

@OfTheTrees I mean you follow each other, it was only a matter of time!

[Miles Crosman @MilesCrosman]

@killthenoise Jake I got you- Sam Harris has a meditation App called Waking Up and it’s incredible. He’s a neuroscientist atheist guy and his guided meditations are the best.

[Miles Crosman @MilesCrosman]

Dude is this the best season of Stranger Things ever?? #StrangerThings4

[Adam Conover @adamconover]

This headline from the @LATimes isn't just blatantly false and misleading; it's also the result of a years-long propaganda campaign by the fossil fuel industry to halt progress on climate change. Thread:

[Miles Crosman @MilesCrosman]

Okay y’all told me the Mandalorian was IN Boba Fett. You didn’t tell me it just switches shows half way through! Whatevs, I ain’t mad. #TheBookOfBobaFett #TheMandalorian

[Miles Crosman @MilesCrosman]

Okay but baby Leia just needs to run faster. Make these chase sequences make sense. Please, I can’t watch another full grown man dressed as an alien guard pretend she’s out of reach. #ObiWan #ObiWanKenobi

[Miles Crosman @MilesCrosman]

Honestly, having non-stop nightmares about the Star Wars prequels would fuck me up too, Obi-Wan. #ObiWaKenobi

[Miles Crosman @MilesCrosman]

@sydneydurb We can’t have common sense gun laws bc half the country doesn’t have common sense. They’re brainwashed, religious morons who feed on conspiracies and propaganda only to spit it back out.

[Miles Crosman @MilesCrosman]

Do you know what cooking videos? You’re gonna have to tell me how much time is happening between these quick cuts

[Miles Crosman @MilesCrosman]

@killthenoise Use “just enjoying your life” to make more money!

[Miles Crosman @MilesCrosman]

I wrote an @AtlantaFX spec that took place in Amsterdam and now they’re all up in Amsterdam which makes me feel better about the fact that it was a pretty shitty spec.

[Alexandria McCale @alimccale]

This is almost as embarrassing as when he played the genie.

[Miles Crosman @MilesCrosman]

This truly is the Wild Wild West...

[Miles Crosman @MilesCrosman]

Can we go back to not talking about Bruno? Please take me back.

[Miles Crosman @MilesCrosman]

Half my life since getting a dog has been spent attempting to open a poop bag and failing.

[Miles Crosman @MilesCrosman]

“It’s the little things that count” *takes a tiny tab of LSD*

[Miles Crosman @MilesCrosman]

#Peacemaker opening FTW