My best friend has BPD. My best friend lives with me, I am her caretaker.
BPD does not 'ruin' lives, she has improved my life in many ways and is a joy to be around. BPD is a coping mechanism that is caused by trauma. People with BPD had traumatic experiences and they only know how to deal with things in certain ways.
There are ways to tell when someone is going to "blow up," which is called splitting. There are active signs and triggers, it's not just random and it isn't fair to demonize people with BPD.
Those with BPD DO have the responsibility to tell those around them what those triggers are and how to help them when they're at an elevated emotional state. I've had great success with just telling my best friend the gray when she starts to see black and white.
When people who have BPD are taken out of those situations where they're around the people who caused and those who trigger the BPD, they start to heal. It's a slow process that takes a lot of work and in most cases medication.
But spreading that BPD is some horrible thing that makes the people who have it to be horrible people is just misinforming others.
This sister/wife just sound like not so great people, it has nothing to do with the BPD. Most people who have BPD are not going to blame it for their negative actions
Once I sleep and close my eyes. Once I stop perceiving myself as myself actively. Once the concept of me is no longer around. The next time that I'm here is that the same me as now, or a new me?